Mathias Kruse - Complacent lyrics

My reflection's got me worried bout the future Everything is funny to me with no sense of humor Every doctor talking's calling me a trooper Wishing I'd have got at least one diagnosis sooner I'm going to die alone, a ruler of everything I survived for Only thing I'm proud of is I was never I pride hoarder Sticking to the walls so I can find corners To be left in peace sedated is what I order Try my hardest not to venture out from my borders Never looking at the clock, it makes the time shorter Stomach pains, to go to sleep I need to lie forward Doctors give me pills like a dealer to some line snorters Time ticks, and as it does I get my mind sorted Through it all, I've found my two cents are closer to five quarters Throwing up 'til I feel like being alive's torture Pulling luggage like an airline porter Used to love to look at life and try me through it Now I'm only comfortable while getting IV fluids My grip on life lately's slightly loosened But I'm moving through it, because soon it might be ruined Weird that dissociation is gracious Waiting for an end has allowed me to find patience It's close but it feels as distant as space is No regrets of anything that I've enjoyed wasting Fear has never been something I could relate with I've just been chasing a state of feeling complacent Forever