Masterworks Broadway - Christian Charity lyrics

[SHERIFF, spoken] Evening folks! [SHELLEY, spoken] Whatcha got? [SHERIFF, spoken] Doctor home? [MEREDITH, spoken] No, he's not. [SHERIFF, spoken] When's he back? [MEREDITH, spoken] An hour or so. [SHELLEY, spoken] The heck is that? [SHERIFF, spoken] Well, I don't know. [MEREDITH] What in the world? [SHELLEY] Where did you find? [MEREDITH, spoken] What is he doing? [SHELLEY, spoken] He's out of his mind! [MEREDITH] Is he in pain? [SHELLEY] Is he insane? [SHERIFF, spoken] Maybe and possibly, let me explain. [MEREDITH & SHELLEY, spoken] No! [SHERIFF, spoken] Aw, heck. Maybe I shouldn't've done that. But that boy was hoppin' like a scalded dog. [MEREDITH, spoken] Boy? [SHERIFF, spoken] Maybe. Frankly, that's why I'm here. I figure maybe we need a veterinarian to sort this out. I'm hoping Dr.Parker will know what to do. [SHERIFF] I didn't know where else to take him... [SHELLEY, spoken] Mom! [MEREDITH, spoken] Shelley, quiet! [SHERIFF] Can't go to jail, he's underage. [SHELLEY, spoken] Mom! [MEREDITH, spoken] Shelley, quiet! [SHERIFF] Folks up at the Med School, bet they'd carve him up or bake him. I'd send the FBI a page, but I don't think we're at that stage- So, here he is folks, he's all yours. Couldn't leave him out of doors, creepin' on all fours. We could always shoot him but that don't seem right to me. 'N I can't rid myself o' my Christian Charity. [SHELLEY, spoken] Can we see him? [MEREDITH, spoken] Shelley- get away! [SHERIFF, spoken] Now you listen to your mother, Shelley. You don't want to be near if it wakes up. It bit one of the Taylor kids. [MEREDITH] Shelley, don't stare- Shelley, don't poke. [MEREDITH, spoken] What is this, sheriff, some kind of sick joke? [SHELLEY] Mom, he's so gross! [SHELLEY, spoken] Mom, can he stay? [SHERIFF, spoken] Shel, I was hopin' you'd see it that way. [SHERIFF] I'm comin' up for re-election. [SHELLEY, spoken] Mom! [MEREDITH, spoken] Shelley, quiet! [SHERIFF] I gotta bring this thing to heel. [SHELLEY, spoken] Mom! [MEREDITH, spoken] Shelley, quiet! [SHERIFF] A boy with his complexion's gonna meet with some objections, 'N I think I know how folks will feel once they hear this- [SHERIFF, spoken] "Bat Child" is for real. [SHELLEY, spoken] It's a bat child? MOM! We gotta keep it! [MEREDITH, spoken] All right, sheriff. Dr. Parker has some cages. I'll take care of the boy for you. [SHERIFF] Ah, that's great, Meredith. I can't thank you enough for the favor. And if he turns into a pain, call me, I've got stun guns and a chain. [SHELLEY, spoken] WHOA! [MEREDITH, spoken] OH! [SHERIFF overlapping] So here he is folks, he's all yours. I couldn't leave him out of doors, creeping on all fours. We may have to put him down- [MEREDITH overlapping] Don't stare, Shelley- please don't poke. Don't touch him, Shelley, don't provoke. [SHELLEY overlapping] Mom! Look at him! I know but Mom... Look at him! What's wrong with him? [ALL] For now we'll wait and see! [SHERIFF & MEREDITH] We can't rid ourselves of our Christian Charity. [SHERIFF overlapping] So, here he is folks, he's all yours. Couldn't leave him out of doors, creeping on all fours. Those thunderclouds are closing in- [MEREDITH overlapping] Don't stare, Shelley, please don't poke. Don't touch him, Shelley, don't provoke! [SHELLEY overlapping] MOOOOOOOOOOMMM! MOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM! [ALL] We can't just let him be. We can't rid ourselves of our Christian Charity. We can't rid ourselves of our Christian Charity. [SHELLEY, spoken] Mom! [MEREDITH, spoken] Shelley, quiet!