I was the kind of kid back in school Who wore a members only jacket, thought he was kool That's when i met katrina, she was best friends with seshel I thought she was the one, yeah i thought she was special I saw her in the hall about quarter til three I said i'll take you in my nova, to the tasty freeze She said i know all about you, more than i should I know all about the dirty mags you keep in the woods (chorus) So tell me how i'm supposed to be when i've been stalked by a lesbian I can't sleep a wink, and i'm married to the ephedrine How am i supposed to sleep when i've been stalked by a lesbian now Now don't take it light, it might seem funny to you Yesterday my science project, was covered in glue So i asked that guy seshel, was it something i said He said quit being so f**in' paranoid, it's all in your head The way she's looking at me, i think she wants me to be, The guy that always gets shot in every movie you see Oh god she's walking this way, oh god what should i say, I hope and pray that one day she'll be straight (chorus) So i was at a bar the other night and i looked across the room and there's this girl and she walks up to me and she's beautiful and she says 'hey, i'm katrina, dude, remember me?' and i freaked D 'oh my god i thought you looked familiar' about this time this 400 f**ing pound woman walks up with katrina's face tattooed on the side of her neck, she comes waddling and says 'don't f** wi Girl' i looked at jabba straight in the f**ing eye and say 'don't worry every time i picture katrina's face it's gonna be on the side of your gross, fat-a**ed, 3 chinned neck' she says 'are y Upid?' i say 'no i'm just sober!'** (chorus) And she beat the sh** out of him