MARKED FOR DELETION - Internet Relationships (Are Not Real Relationships) lyrics

Internet relationships are not real Your heart people steal but identities conceal So here's a tale of warning for girls and boys Laptop computers can be dangerous toys [DARYL47:] In the chat room, I inspect. Who's here tonight? ASL check [CarolBabe69:] I'm 20/f from the UK. Send me an IM and I'll make your day [DARYL47:] I'm 22 and my name is Daryl [CarolBabe69:] Nice to meet you Daryl my name is Carol [DARYL47:] What do you like Carol? [CarolBabe69:] I like to go to shows. I collect comic books and vintage clothes What do you like? [DARYL47:] I like to skate. I play rock guitar, but I'm not that great I like to go on dates and I like to stay up late I live in San Francisco and hang on the Haight [CarolBabe69:] Do you like the Golden Gate? DARYL47: I did when I was eight [CarolBabe69:] Maybe I can come and visit? [DARYL47:] Maybe you should wait See I'm really forty-seven, I have kids and a wife I weight 300 pounds and I really hate my life CarolBabe69:] Are you serious? [DARYL47:] Yes [CarolBabe69:] Well, I've got a secret too. I'm not 20 years old, I'm really 32 I only have one leg and I like to sniff glue [DARYL47:] You lied to me Carol [CarolBabe69:] Well, you lied to me too [Chorus] It's not normal to have an Internet girlfriend Online relationships are really just pretend Unplug your heart, upgrade your system Get, get off the Internet Bob went on MySpace for hours a day Talking to girls from Moscow to LA But people can surprise you from behind a screen Listen to this verse and you'll see what I mean [SueChick1990:] Hi, I'm Susie, I like your profile I checked out your pics and I like your smile [BOBSTER MAN:] Sounds good Susie, I'll be your friend We can message each other again and again [SueChick1990:] Comment on my pics and post on my page Join my groups and guess my age! [BOBSTER MAN:] You must be 18, how could you not? You can't be in high school you're just too hot [SueChick1990:] Let me send you pics for your personal collection I hope they inspire you and give you a smile Susie sent Bob pics that were borderline obscene The cops showed up at his door – she was only 16 [REPEAT Chorus] If you don't believe us here's a final story About a boy named Marcus and his online girlfriend Lori Behind the monitor, truth is hidden from your eyes Marcus didn't know but he was in for a surprise [MARCUSP:] We've been dating for a while but let's cut to the chase I don't know what you look like, and I want to see your face [Laurie69:] But what does it matter? You know who I am inside [MARCUSP:] What if you're not a woman and this whole time you lied? [Laurie69:] You got me there, I'm not really a female I'm a guy who pretends to be a girl through email [MARCUS:] So this is why it's bad to meet women online Living life behind the screen is a total waste of time! [REPEAT Chorus] Internet Relationships (Are Not Real Relationships)