Mark Heard - Missionary Pie lyrics

I can see myself preach on a windblown beach To a leaning, hungry bunch And then the cannibals said we got no bread Please, won't you stay for lunch? Well, I think I must be leavin' so excuse me if you dare Think I'd rather go back to the USA And preach to the backbiters there Use me where I am, dear Lord, I cannot tell a lie I never want to end up in a missionary pie I can see myself float in a dug out boat on the river Amazon With piranhas in my bathtub, spiders in my cut-off long-johns And when I hand out gospel tracts, the natives try to eat them Think I'd rather go back to the USA Where they sometimes try to read them Use me where I am, dear Lord, I cannot tell a lie I never want to end up in a missionary pie, ow I can see my knees knock in the dark boondocks, the reverend jungle gym And the crocodiles chew on my tennis shoes, and just to be polite, I grin And just about the time I start up to preach, a pygmy bites my knee Think I'd rather go back to the USA And preach to thou and thee Use me where I am, dear Lord, I cannot tell a lie I never want to end up in a missionary pie, oh no