Mario Cantone - Have It Your Way lyrics

BYCK (spoken): Have it your way, have it your way. You know what my way is? Hot. How about a hamburger that's f**ing hot!? (shouting) DON'T BLAME ME I'M FROM MASSACHUSETTS! Dick! You still there babe? Sorry about that. Ten miles from the airport I'm starting to lose it here, stay with me baby, talk me down. You know Dick, in this, the waning hours of your administration, it seems appropriate to look back at your long years of public service and to conclude that as our President you really bit the big one. Why so city babe, what can I say? And you know what, this cracks me up, I voted for you. Yes, I gave you my vote, my sacred democratic trust, and you know what you did? You pissed all over it! Ah what the hell, guys like you, you pissed all over everything. You pissed all over the country, you pissed all over yourselves, you pissed all over me. Yeah, yeah I know: "Sam, don't say it! You're my main man. Guys like you, you're the backbone of the nation. Sammy--" (shouting) SHUT UP DICK! I'M TALKING NOW! ALRIGHT! I'M TALKING AND YOU'RE LISTENING! Here. Have you seen the papers lately? Grandma lives in packing crate. Sewage closes Jersey beaches. Saudi prince buys Howard Johnsons. What the hell is going on here Dick? It wasn't supposed to be like this. It wasn't but it is. And schmucks like you, you're telling us it isn't? "Everything's fine, it's great, it's Miller time". What Miller time? The woods are burning, Dick. What did we do? You want to make things better. How? I'm told "an election". Great. The Democrat says he'll fix everything the Republicans f**ed up. The Republican says he'll fix everything the Democrats f**ed up. Who's telling us the truth? Who's lying? Someone's lying, who? We guess, we argue but deep down we know that we don't know. How can we? Oil embargo's, megaton's, holes in the ozone, who can understand this crap? We need to believe, to trust like little kids that someone wants what's best for us. If someone's looking out for us then someone loves us. Do they? No they lie to us. They lie about trade, they lie about what's wrong, they lie about the f**ing hamburgers. And when we realise they're lying, really realise it in our gut, then we get scared. Then we get terrified like little children waking in the dark, we do don't know where we are. I had a bad dream. Mommy, Sammy had a nightmare. And then Daddy comes and takes me into the dark and says "it's okay Sammy, Daddy's here, I love you kid. Your Mommy doesn't but I do". And then Mommy comes and holds me tight and says "I gotcha boy, I'm here for you. Your daddy isn't but I am". And then where are we? What do we believe? Who do we trust? What do we do? We do the only thing we can do. We k** the President.