Marcus Velazquez - Preface lyrics

The name of this project has changed a few times in the process but the one that stuck is Au_XY, it comes the periodic symbol for gold, Au, and the chromosome make up for a man / boy, XY. It's an allusion to the phrase "Golden Boy". The best definition from urban dictionary that resonated with me was "The person whom appears to have an untarnished record of any kind. Most people considered a "golden boy" actually do have many flaws and are not what they appear.", which fit the content perfectly, this whole thing is me thinking about / wrestling with these topics in private, so the title is kind of for the sake of juxtaposition. This whole project is me trying to be as open as I've ever been in any form of writing. I remember showing one of my best friends something I was working on at the time and one of her comments was "it's good but it's safe, like you're sk**ed and you know it but you're hiding." As much as I never wanted to admit, it she was kind of right. I didn't want to make dirty, in a sense I purposely kept everything at surface level, it was safe there, it was in my comfort zone, I clung to it for dear life. In years past, I had series of projects titled " Who Is She?" which in retrospect it let me talk about everyone else objectively without sharing too much about myself. The more I wrote for this current body of work, the more I thought "go deeper, let everyone know what I was feeling. Give them insight into the good, the bad, the ugly, my insecurities, feelings of being inadequate, and all the other sh** I wouldn't want to admit openly because I'd feel too vulnerable about it." I texted one of my best friends about feeling overwhelmed because people genuinely liked what I was doing and how I was just writing to keep my head on straight, I didn't think it would resonate with people. He responded "I expected nothing less my brother. You definitely have a gift. Just keep being as transparent as you are & have been" I was almost in tears. "Truth is power, honesty is power" "I told you something. It was just for you and you told everybody. So I learned cut out the middleman, make it all for everybody, always. Everybody can't turn around and tell everybody, everybody already knows, I told them." Both quotes are by one of my favorite artists, the more I thought about it, the more these quotes resonated with me for this body of work. Make it for everyone, let everyone know and be human. I've always felt like a fish out of water which at times has led me into some precarious situations and has led me to question / overthink things way more than I care to admit. On the other hand I also think it's given a ton of introspection / introspective moments which I think these pieces embody and helped me write from the perspective of others. After all is said and done, acting like everything is cool all the time is fine but will only go so far, while admitting what sometimes keeps me up at night will get way more mileage and help me to work on those faults even if the former is easier to do. Feel free to ask questions, give any feedback good or bad, and I hope you enjoy it. Thank you.