Malvina Reynolds - The Pied Piper lyrics

Rats, rats, everywhere, In the kitchen and down the stair, Rocking babies in their cradles, Tasting soup in the cooks' soup ladles, Eating flour from ev'ry bin, And raising the devil in Hamelin, Hamelin, Germany, long time ago. Rats, rats, everywhere, Wherever you looked, the rats were there, Took a nap in Papa's shoes, Sat in the living room and read the news, What a condition that town was in, Little old town of Hamelin, Hamelin, Germany, long time ago. Mayor and Council scratched their heads, Tossed and turned in their ratty beds, Pa**ed a big appropriation To count the rats in the population, Solemnly resolved that it was a sin For rats to live in Hamelin, Hamelin, Germany, long time ago. Little man stood at the Mayor's door, No one had ever seen him before, Dressed in clothes of a gayer mood Than ever are seen in Hollywood. "If the Mayor will let me in I'll drive the rats from Hamelin," Hamelin, Germany, long time ago. They hugged him, kissed him, patted his head, "What is your name?" the Mayor said. "I'm the Pied Piper, I blow this horn, And there never was a rat that ever was born Could resist my merry din, Not even the rats of Hamelin," Hamelin, Germany, long time ago. "Oh, blow your horn both far and wide, And save our city!" the Mayor cried, "Whatever you ask we will gladly pay, If you'll only drive these rats away. A couple of grand you will surely win If you get the rats out of Hamelin," Hamelin, Germany, long time ago. A tweedledy-dee and a foodley-doh, A little tune he started to blow, It sounded like bacon, it sounded like cheese, It sounded like kitcheny melodies, The rats came out with a snicker and a grin From all the houses in Hamelin, Hamelin, Germany, long time ago. They followed the music bright and gay, Over the hills and far away, The Hamelinians loudly cheered As the rat procession disappeared, And never a rat was seen again In the little old town of Hamelin, Hamelin, Germany, long time ago. The Piper waited, hat in hand, To collect his fee for a couple of grand, Mayor and Council scratched their pates, "This is way above union rates! For a tune on the flute or the violin We only pay scale in Hamelin," Hamelin, Germany, long time ago. Pied Piper said, "Okay," Put on his hat and turned away, Started playing a couple of tunes Sounded like candy and toy balloons, Like merry-go-rounds in a jolly spin, Calling the children of Hamelin, Hamelin, Germany, long time ago. The children came out into the street, Followed the Piper with dancing feet, Followed the music bright and gay Over the hills and far away, The town got quiet like it never had been Since the beginning of Hamelin, Hamelin, Germany, long time ago. In some country far away, Some lads and la**es swing and sway, And a gaudy Piper, old and gray, Plays on his clarinet night and day, While way back home their sorrowing kin Mourn for the children of Hamelin, Hamelin, Germany. My grandma told me so, A long, long time ago.