Berlin, April 4, 1947 - It was a devastating defeat for the Red Army when the German flag was raised on the western side of the river Volga this morning. In a statement to our reporter on site, Field Marshal Friedrich Ritter said that the victory is not only thanks to our hard-working and dedicated troops, but also the result of a new weapon that was deployed for the first time in battle. The Panzerhund is a mechanical, autonomous beast of war that cannot feel fear and cannot feel remorse. It is the purest form of k**ing machine and it will tear the Russians apart, limb by limb.