[INTRO: Spoken] All right, dust off a pimp when you see him Now I don't like talking before songs, really... But I'm gonna tell you This is a new approach to positivity A new approach to dealing with your problems You see one of them problems You got money problems You got weight problems You better tell that b**h to get out on the corner and get your mother f**ing money We pimp slappin' our f**ing stress today, baby (Yo)(Uh) [Verse 1] Today you feel stressed Today you hate your friends Your wallet's hurtin', the entire world is cavin' in You need to lose a couple pounds You need to get in shape You can't sleep but you're tired of making big mistakes Your roommate's always being such a little selfish queen. They're always messy and obnoxious, they don't help you clean Your sick to your stomach to get back your girl [BRIDGE VARIATION 1] Well, I'm Uncle Mac and I'mma help you pimp slap the world! (Uh) You got some big expectations, don't wanna live those doown It's not a carnival but trust that merry still goes 'round I give a fu*k that it's raining, just roll your windows down And let yourself get soaked, blowing out the weeed smoke [SUPPLEMENTAL 1] I love it, I'm here to heal the public You got a case of the Mondays I got a case of the f**-its So tell me if you need a couple OXYs or a ZANY And I'mma drop you off with your family. DAMN ME [Chorus] This world is such a b**h This world is such a silly b**h Sometimes you need to retract And straight up slap it like a pimp Slap it like a pimp Slap it like a money getting, cane pushing, pimp Then you say 'I don't give a f**! I ain't feeling stressed today!' 'I don't give a f**. Everything is just OK.' 'I don't give a f**! I ain't feeling stressed today!' 'I don't give a f**. I'm a mother f**ing pimp.' [VERSE 2] Today you feel sick Today you're tense and anxious The bill collectors calling you speaking in different language You're getting sick of anguish You're sick of drunk people On Friday night you're home alone just saying 'fu*k PEOPLE!' Your father always judges you inside, you hate him for it You held the door for somebody that didn't thank you for it Your man left for a rich bratty girl [BRIDGE VARIATION 2] Well, I'm Uncle Mac and I'mma help you pimp slap the world You got some big expectations, don't wanna live those down It's not a carnival but trust that merry still goes 'round I give a fu*k that it's raining, just roll your windows down And let yourself get soaked, blowing out the weeed smoke [SUPPLEMENTAL 2] I'm on it, this cosmic spread I'm Drinking 90 minute IPA by Dogfish Head So down a bottle with me, homie, DAMN, sit back And hit your problems with a open hand pimp slap! (Brrrrappp!) [Chorus] This world is such a b**h This world is such a silly b**h Sometimes you need to retract And straight up slap it like a pimp Slap it like a pimp Slap it like a money getting, cane pushing, pimp Then you say 'I don't give a f**! I ain't feeling stressed today!' 'I don't give a f**. Everything is just OK.' 'I don't give a f**! I ain't feeling stressed today!' 'I don't give a f**. I'm a mother f**ing pimp.' [VERSE 3] You're feeling stressed about your whack cash flow Well, put your diamond rings on and smack that, hoe Illegal parking job, your car got toed Well, put your diamond rings on and smack that, hoe Shiny alligator shoes, thousand dollar Gucci suit Feather in your hat, you slammin' Cadillac dooors Every problem in your life's a dirty f**ing hooker Take two steps back and pimp slap dat, hoe! (Uh) [BRIDGE VARIATION 3] You got some big expectations, don't wanna live those doown It's not a carnival but trust that merry still goes 'round I give a fu*k that it's raining, just roll your windows doown And let yourself get soaked, and f**ing wet [SUPPLEMENTAL 3] I need it. I've always f**ing needed it Sometimes the best solution is a drink or getting weededed But other times you gotta take your problems and just choke them Swell their eye and leave their nose broken Like a pimp! (END)