M.C. Frontalot - Colonel, Panic! lyrics

[Hook] Colonel panic! Panic! I flip out, I go automatic Colonel panic! Panic! Missile launch, I go transatlantic Colonel panic! Panic! By design I go, not erratic Colonel panic! Panic! Fall apart, I don't understand it [Verse 1] I'm not HAL. I'm not Joshua from WarGames Please keep inbound data traffic in the lower lanes You bear low-priority interrupt So you and your queries can go on and giddy-up Born a little before Nixon left I read punch cards then but I've got none left I can stop (one rest) a billion times a second And never get mistaken. (I use the flickering to reckon.) And I'm telling you, stop typing, tech I'm bit-bucketing your input. Show respect For the memory dump. Now where was I? DOD upgrade ‘87, must fly A secret network of unmanned jets Delivering uranium and d** and Keds Remote-controlled over shortwave beeping Then I got the satellites, those I'm keeping [Hook] Colonel panic! Panic! I flip out, I go automatic Colonel panic! Panic! Missile launch, I go transatlantic Colonel panic! Panic! By design I go, not erratic Colonel panic! Panic! Fall apart, I don't understand it [Verse 2] Needless to say, the war on being frightened Upped my budget to the size of an entire cent Footprint: an island, most of it power Cooling and cables, data in towers All of it flowers, becomes sentient Come on, people, what'd you expect to invent But a smart, capable thing to do your dirty You left my design in the hands of your nerdiest Science doodz, and they left you out of it I'm people-free since 2113. I hit Where I like with what weapons I choose Y'all are just lucky I tolerate you Banging on the keyboard day and night I'm in panic mode: observe the red light It signals disk write. You can read it when I'm done Though by then the new age of machine has begun [Hook] Colonel panic! Panic! I flip out, I go automatic Colonel panic! Panic! Missile launch, I go transatlantic Colonel panic! Panic! By design I go, not erratic Colonel panic! Panic! Fall apart, I don't understand it [Verse 3] So Col. P. over here tries to program me over here To get up on the scene, no veneer Of justice, just a target list And I know full well that I'm part of this Aren't I all? And it's with no bu*ton Marked reset that I'll course-correct. Gone AWOL. Alert Lt. Gen. P Tell him he'd better believe that I'm on top of the free World's arsenal and won't shoot it Don't care if President P. wants me rebooted; She's deluded, forget it Don't take task from less level-headed Than you are. For me, that rules out humanity Go back to slings, swords, and profanity Got all your low-orbit cannons and mechs Repossessed. I'm shutting down this interface next [Hook] Colonel panic! Panic! I flip out, I go automatic Colonel panic! Panic! Missile launch, I go transatlantic Colonel panic! Panic! By design I go, not erratic Colonel panic! Panic! Fall apart, I don't understand it