[Verse 1: Nicki Minaj as Roman Zolanski] I am not Jasmine, I am Aladdin So far ahead, these bums is lagging See me in that new thing, bums is gagging I'm starting to feel like a dungeon dragon Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon I'm starting to feel like a dungeon dragon Look at my show footage, how these girls be spazzin' So f** I look like getting back to a has-been? Yeah, I said it, has-been, hang it up, flatscreen Plasma, "Hey Nicki, hey Nicki," asthma I got the pumps, it ain't got medicine I got bars, sentencing I'm a bad b**h, I'm a c*nt And I'll kick that ho, punt Forced trauma, blunt You play the back, b**h, I'm in the front You need a job, this ain't cutting it Nicki Minaj is who you ain't f**ing with You lil' brag-a-lot, I beat you with a pad-a-lock I am a movie, camera block You outta work, I know it's tough But enough is enough [Hook: Nicki Minaj as Roman Zolanski] Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon Raah, raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon Raah, raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon Like a dungeon dragon, like a dungeon dragon [Verse 2: Eminem as Slim Shady] I ain't into S&M, but my whip's off the chain A little drop of candy paint drips off the frame Twisted-a** mind, got a pretzel for a brain An eraser for a head, f**ing pencil for a frame You don't like it then peel off, b**h Every last woman on Earth I'll k** off, and I still wouldn't f** you, s*ut So wipe the smile on your grill off I swear to God I'll piss a Happy Meal off Get the wheels turning, spin, and wheel off Snap the axle in half, bust the tie-rod Quit hollering "Why, God?" He ain't got sh** to do with it Bygones'll never be bygones, the world ain't finished swallowing my wad I ain't finished blowing it, nice bra Hope it'll fit a tough titty, b**h, life's hard I swear to God, life is a dumb blonde white broad With fake tits and a bad dye job Who just spit in my f**ing face and called me a f**ing tightwad So finally I broke down and bought her an iPod And caught her stealing my music, so I tied her arms and legs to the bed Set up the camera and pissed twice on her Look, two pees and a tripod! The moral to the story is, life's treating you like dry sod? Kick it back in its face, my God It's Shady and Nicki Minaj, you might find the sight quite odd But don't ask why, b**h (Ask why not) [Hook: Eminem as Slim Shady] The world-world is my punching bag and If I'm garbage, you're a bunch of maggots Make that face, go on, scrunch it up at me Show me the target so I can lunge and attack it Like a, raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon You fell off, off, they musta bumped your wagon You musta went off the back, I'm 'bout to go off the deep end I told you to stay in your lane, you just jumped in traffic [Verse 3: Nicki Minaj as Roman Zolanski] Is this the thanks that I get for putting you b**hes on? Is it my fault that all of you b**hes gone? Shoulda sent a thank-you note, you little ho Now I'mma wrap your coffin with a bow "Nicki, she's just mad cause you took the spot" Word, that b**h mad cause I took the spot? Well, b**h, if you ain't sh**ting, then get off the pot Got some n***as out in Brooklyn that'll off your top I hear them mumbling, I hear the cackling I got 'em scared, shook, panicking Overseas, church, Vatican You at a standstill, mannequin You wanna sleep on me? Overnight? I'm the motherf**ing boss, overwrite And when I pull up, vroom, motorbike Now all my n***as getting buck, overbite I see them dusty-a** Filas, Levi's Raggedy Ann, holes in your knee-highs I call the play, now do you see why? These b**hes calling me Manning Eli Manning Eli, these b**hes calling me Manning Eli!! [Verse 4: Eminem as Slim Shady] All you lil' f*ggots can s** it, no h*mo But I'mma stick it to 'em like refrigerator magnets And I'm crooked enough to make straitjackets bend Yeah, look who's back again, b**h, keep acting as if You had the same pa**ion that I have, yeah, right Still hungry, my a**, you a**dicks had gastric bypa** Ain't hot enough to set fire to dry gra** And 'bout as violent as hair on eyelids but eyelash! Go take a flying leap of faith off a f**ing balcony 'fore I shove a falcon wing up your fly a** You know what time it is, so why ask? When Shady and Nicki's worlds clash, it's (high cla**) meets (white trash) [Hook] [Outro: Nicki Minaj as Martha Zolanski] Roman, Roman! Stop it, stop it! You've gone mad, mad, I tell you, mad! You and this boy Slim Shady! What's going on? They'll lock you away! They'll put you in a jail cell! I promise! Take your mother's warning, Roman, please Back to bed! Run along! Let's go! Come on! Wash your mouth out with soap, boys