Lucy Simon & Marsha Norman - Scene: The Library / Scene: Mary's Room lyrics

If I Had A Fine White Horse MARTHA: If I had a fine white horse I'd take you for a ride today But since I have no fine white horse Inside I'll have to stay And empty all the chamber pots And scrub the floors and such But what's there to do on a fine white horse? It seems to me not much If I had a wooden boat I'd take you for a sail today But since I have no wooden boat Inside I'll have to stay And catch and k** the mice And pluck the chickens for the cook But what's there to do on a wooden boat? But sit up straight and look? And worry our boat will start to drift And float us out to sea And land us in an isle of gold Oh dear, oh dearie me If I had a chambermaid I'd take you out to play today They say that there's a maze Where once you enter, there you stay For certain we'd get lost And they'd come looking for our bones And find us sometime late next week And bring us tea and scones But what if there's a clan of Trolls a-campin 'neath the tree? Or what if there's a pirate's cave? Oh dear, oh dear! Oh dearie me If I wasn't so afraid I'd take you out the door today But talking birds and tales of Fairies keep me scared away And yes, I promised not to tell what Else is there, although If in the maze you chance to see A garden guarded by a tree And meet a bird who speaks to thee Then come and tell my fine white horse And me