[Intro: Celph Titled, Louis Logic] Uhh...what...yo.. My man Louis Logic, up in the Chrome Depot once again, baby D-Minor on the motherf**ing beat Yo Lou, who you talking to? To all the s**y women (You're so beautiful) Dressed in linen (So cute to Lou) Yeah...have a candlelight dinner with you And a nice bottle of Mo before you drop to the flo', ho [Verse 1] I look at beef like a chick with crooked teeth: turn the cold shoulder Down a Brooklyn street, whenever stoned sober But when I'm drunk, I look deceased, show's over A boatload of licks 'till I'm sick, and rolled over Laying in my own piss on an old sofa In strips of a police line that I dove over Chicks in dip Range Rovers following me The MC who wiped his a** with his college degree Who's the biggest lush? Probably me Who swigs enough to spit the sickest stuff After chugging a bottle or three? It's making sense Logic-ally If heads don't take offense to what you spit to me You're not an MC I deal in reality, selling your hope Developing quotes for folks to make a pelican choke You f**ing big-mouths have never been dope on one track Has-beens, forget all your hopes for comeback [Hook: Louis Logic (Celph Titled)] I'm cla**y in a Caddy or in an Impala Even riding on an old schwinn women will holla Broke n***as want me to lend them a dollar I tell them, "Thanks, but no thanks" (Cause he's a gentleman and a scholar) [Verse 2] If you ask me what hip-hop means, I'd have to say Spitting one ob-scene rap a day to blashphemer pop queens Stage diving drunk into a mob scene To fight a punk and when the cops come driving up Scream in the mic, "It's not me!" I'm like a virus that gets in your a**, still infectious A mad scientist in the lab when I'm spilling measures You get the type of smackdown a credit card fraud villain catches When he's tracked down by bill collectors Filthy lectures with the illest textures, outbreak Your next course of action I'd suggest, about face All kidding aside, my records outweigh most The last man who came close didn't survive sh**, isn't it fly how your sister replied To a**ist me in the kitchen 'till the dishes are dry? You got a nice family, except for your deadbeat daddy Tell him to do his chores first, or he'll never get the Caddy (Chorus) [Verse 3] Venemous nemesis who sits in a bar Sipping a jar of Russian vodka from an infamous czar It's one of the gifts that a star has at his disposal Whipping my car after I drank it into an accident, totalled (Thanks for nothing) Tanked and buzzing, with wood in my jeans Looking for queens with legs for loving, to put it between My idea of romance is pulling off a ho's pants With no dance and dinner unless she's cooking for me I'm not a chauvinist...just bend your a** over, Miss And show me both your tits while you choke on this The s** crazed ex-slave came back to the farm To pack the piper master's wife 'till the mattress is warm And after I'm gone, I want my anaconda bronzed And made into a dil*o-shaped statue on your mama's lawn Don't get offended cause my songs are long and nonsense Wrongful comments and strong in content (Chorus) [Outro] And so...at this time I'd like to thank all the people who can s** my co*k You're all pieces of sh** I hope you get hit by a speeding bus And everyone who showed up to my party tonight, in such fly attire Very nice to have you Don't let the door hit you in the a** on the way out