You' braggin all about the things you can do Every time you make a pitch If you're so smart How come you ain't rich? You claim to have picked every horse that won 'Cause you know just which is which Yes, if you're so smart Tell me, how come you ain't rich? Henry built the Ford and made his pile Woolworth used his five and ten Rockerfeller's wealth came from Standard Oil And Waterman's came from a pen You claim it all came from consultin' you Isn't that a brand new switch? If you're so smart How come you ain't rich? Mention work and you go berserk 'Cause you hate to do a stitch If you're so smart How come you ain't rich? You're out for a ride on the road to fame Yet you wind up in a ditch Mmm-hmm - if you're so smart Tell me, how come you ain't rich? Hershey started with a chocolate bar Wrigley with a stick of gum Planters took his peanuts and travelled far Now tell me - what'you doin', chum? I' been hearin' all about all your big ideas Since you started. What's the hitch? You never made ten dollars yet You say you can balance the national debt If you're so smart How come you ain't rich?