Loudon Wainwright Iii - I Eat Out lyrics

I can cook a little But it's not a lot to shout about It's kinda mean cuisine So, I eat out Hey, they know me at the Greek and the Chink And the Italian and the Indian, too And they all say "Here comes that sad American man again What are we gonna do?" Well you can put me at the table In the corner in the back Unless you got one in a telephone booth I'm here and I'm alone again It's sad but it's the truth No, I'm not expecting anyone Is that beyond belief Give me the menu Take away the candle Never mind the aperitif They got a couple of couples A trio and a foursome They even got a party of eight I'm getting that look I wish I'd brought a book Better yet, I wish I'd already ate Ooh, don't you know that's impolite What's the matter with you people Your telling jokes and your holding hands And you're talking with your mouth's full Well the waiter comes up and he asks me "How it is Sir, is everything alright?" The foods fine but I feel like a fool 'Cause I'm eating alone tonight Don't say I was here at all What would all my loved-one's think I'll take the check, no sweet, no coffee No after dinner drink I can cook a little But it's not a lot to shout about It's kinda mean cuisine So, I eat out