Loudon Wainwright Iii - What Are Families For? lyrics

Your mother's loose, your father's slim She smothers you, you bother him Pa**ed back and forth between those two Until they've had enough of you Another bundle comes along But by this time something's gone wrong Awake all night deprived of sleep It's overload they're in too deep then She forgets to take a pill Overload is overk** What, what are families for? He's at the wheel, she's at his side Three kids in back out for a ride Looking at houses, autumn leaves Keep hope alive, try to believe They haven't made a huge mistake And what seemed real in fact is fake Kids can't sit still, "are we there yet?" He lights his seventh cigarette "Almost," she says, "it won't be long Look out the window, sing a song" Singing what, what are families for? You're the brother who is big You were your parents' guinea pig The first, the oldest and the best Smarter, quicker than the rest Your little sister's just a girl So you can kick her from your world You push your baby brother down And grind his face into the ground They do what you want them to Because those two look up to you What, what are families for? Finally you leave the nest Life was a quiz, now it's a test You can't just live, a living's earned So you use every trick you've learned You cast off siblings, you make friends Discover the receiving end You swore you'd never be a dad But that's what works, isn't that sad? Young women want to mother you You hate it but you want them to What, what are families for? All grown up, holding your own You fend them off by telephone You keep in touch, it's come to this The furtive hug, suspicious kiss Your sister's ensconced in your life The archetype of an an ex-wife For all that dirt he ate back then Your brother figures you owe him now Mom wants back all that Dad took But Dad is dead, he's off the hook What, what are families for?