Loudon Wainwright Iii - Last Man On Earth lyrics

In the year 2000 My age was 53 Born in the first half Of the last century I always was post-modern But that's ancient history Now I'm the last man on Earth That's what the matter is with me I guess I'm old fashioned Retro to a degree You could say I'm a throw-back Anachronistically Air conditioning is here to stay And that makes me unhappy Cause I'm the last man on Earth That's what the matter is with me I don't have a portfolio I gotta pleed guilty The best things are the worthless now That's just because they're free And if your not a millionaire yet Boy, you better be Now, I'm the last man on Earth That's what the matter is with me I should be optimistic And go buy some bonds and stocks They'll find a cure for Cancer soon We may get trigger-locks Existence is no picnic As statistics all have shown We learn to live together And then we die alone Everybody's got a website But that's all Greek to me I don't own a computer I hate that letter "e" I don't pack a cell phone Or drive an SUV Yes, I'm the last man on Earth That's what the matter is with me I'm the last man standing Save the last dance for me I've taken the last train to Clarksville I'm the fifth monkey Nice guys always finish last No one's nicer than me Yeah, I'm the last man on Earth That's what the matter is with me Kid's used to say their prayers at night Before they went to bed St. John told us that God is love Nichiei said he was dead This thing we call existence Who knows what it all means? Time and Life and People Are just glossy magazines I sat and watched those guys Debate each other on TV Politicians, wrestlers They're all the same to me Hey, I don't give a damn Which idiot runs this country Since I'm the last man on Earth It don't matter to me In the year 2000 My age was 53 I know that I'm grumpy Middle-aged crazy But if you are a woman You might have to sleep with me Since I'm the last man on Earth And I can guarantee I'm the last man on Earth And there ain't nothing wrong with me