Loudon Wainwright Iii - Brand New Dance lyrics

There's a new dance craze sweepin' the land First you get out of bed, then you attempt to stand You get out of bed, you get to your feet You got to just stand there, you can't retreat Now here comes the hard part, it's bad news You got to bend over and put on your shoes Over in the bed lies your sleepin' wife Snorin' like a sailor, she's the love of your life But that women is a martyr and you know it's true Who the hell else would put up with you? You got a brand new dance and it goes like this You wake up in the mornin' and look in to the abyss Take a look Take another look, come on! It's a fight to the finish It's a flackin' and a fray Got a brand new song and I sing it everyday I got a new smell and it's called "The Old Man" A new taste sensation, I'd say it was bland But that senior discount, that's my kind of treat But when I get on the bus, you got to give me a seat Come on baby Yeah the water is rising way past flood stage The woods are on fire, and that's a turn the page So we stack the? You drink a little coffee then you go take a seat Read your business section, up there on your throne You got a brand new dance, and you do it alone Don't just sit there Do something Shake a tail feather! You got a brand new dance, you gotta get you some work It's a little like the Monkey, and a lot like the Jerk The Chicken and the Pony and the Frug and the Swap It's a brand new dance, and you wish it would stop You'd rather be a workin' stiff, than a lazy slob Sha Na Na don't get you no job Hey hallelujah it's election time Vote in a booth for the big boss line But it's the same old song, same old dance Same long shot at the same slim chance, yeah One of those fools is bound to win But it's the same old, same old, all over again Here we go There's a new dance craze sweepin' the land First you get out of bed, then you attempt to stand Get out of bed, get to your feet You got to just stand there, you can't retreat Now here comes the hard part, it's a bad news You got to bend over and put on your shoes