Loudon Wainwright Iii - IWIWAL lyrics

I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero I wouldn't have to mess with men and all their come-and-go And all that awful facial hair and yucky "ma-chis-mo" Ooooooo, I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn't straight I would sleep with women only; man, that would be great I could throw away my diaphragm; I wouldn't wanna mate Ooooooo, I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn't straight Hey! I wish I was a lesbian; I'd like to be a dyke I would hang with k.d. lang; Mel Gibson, take a hike I think it would be nice to love someone who was alike Ooooooo, I wish I was a lesbian; I'd like to be a dyke I wish I was a lesbian; that's why this song is sung It shouldn't have to matter how someone is hung Other things are more important, like how to use your tongue I wish I was a lesbian; that's why this song is sung Hey! I dare Casey Kasem to play this! I wish I was a lesbian; I know it's sad, but true But maybe I might understand you guys and all you do But if I was a lesbian, I wouldn't have to I wish I was a lesbian; I know it's sad, but true Hey, I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero I wouldn't have to mess with men and all their come-and-go And all that awful facial hair and yucky "ma-chis-mo" (I hate that damned machismo!) Ooooooo, I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero!