Loudon Wainwright Iii - Halloween 2009 lyrics

Tell me who you gonna be on Halloween? A witch or a pirate? A gypsy or a clown? How's about a zombie fresh out of the ground? For Halloween last year I was a king Had a sceptre a crown ermine robe ruby ring Then in December everything tanked My entire portfolio and all that I'd banked on Lost the mansion the yacht the wife and the wealth It all went up in smoke including my health Insurance? Forget it lost that with the job What I need is a gun now and a bank I can rob I was a king but my kingdom's destroyed I'll be dillinger this year or pretty boy Floyd 10/31 Time to make the big scene Who you gonna be on Halloween? The mummy? The werewolf? How's about Shreck? Frankenstein's creature with a bolt in your neck? Maybe this year I can be a bum, Buddy spare me a dime, a crust or a crumb Some smart lucky fat cats got out of the jam Bernie's in prison but Greenspan's on the lamb My favorite get up when I was a teen Was to dress down like a hobo on Halloween I'd black out a few teeth charcoal in a beard And pretend to have nothing Be forgotten and feared You know a bum is someone that's not so bad to be In a sense somewhat honest and to some extent free Carve out a pumpkin make a big scene Who you gonna be on Halloween? Vampires are s**y this year they're in But bein' the friendly ghost ain't no sin Now it's trick or treatin' time just as sure as your born The kids are gonna want a lot of candy corn Boys down on Wall St. will be up to their tricks 'Cause there's always a way to put in the fix Black cats, cobwebs, bats, Halloween Just about time to make the scary scene But the scariest monster won't be at your door He's on CNBC where there's real blood and gore You better turn off your TV hide under your bed It's mad money's Jim Cramer and he's back from the dead