There'll be lots of drinking in Heaven Smoking and eating and s** What you didn't do in this life, bad for you Will be totally cool in the next In Heaven there'll be beer for breakfast At lunch it's tequila and wine And the soup served with dinner is made with paint thinner And the morning hereafter feels fine, Oh.... Good behaviour will get you to heaven It's Beulah Land, that's where you're bound But nobody makes nice up there in paradise When you get up there then you get down And the angels have ashtrays in Heaven Saint Peter puffs on a cigar That's right smoking's allowed, it's what makes all those clouds And you don't have to sit at the bar, Oh.... And they eat all day long up in Heaven And nobody ever gets fat No not one calorie and the ice cream is free It comes in a pint, quart, or a vat And it's just one big orgy in Heaven And nobody ever says "no" And it's front, sideways, back, and you start to lose track But you don't lose your get up and go, Oh... There'll be lots of drinking in Heaven Smoking and eating and s** What you didn't do in this life, bad for you Will be totally cool in the next In Heaven there'll be beer for breakfast At lunch it's Sambuca and wine The gazpacho with dinner is made with paint thinner And the morning hereafter feels fine!