Lonnie Donegan - Lumbered lyrics

There are lots of words that mean You've been landed in the..cart But I've found a new one better than the rest It's a little word called lumbered And I speaks it from the 'eart When it comes to getting' lumbered, I'm the best I get l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered It's enough to drive a fella round the bend Once I found a four leafed clover And a lorry ran me over So you see I still got lumbered in me end Like the time I crossed a gypsy's palm with silver And she said "There's a stranger in your life" I got l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered 'Cos the stranger caught me with his wife I get l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered Once I won two hundred thousand on the pools So I handed in me ticket Told the foreman where to stick it And I told him that includes me bag of tools Then I bought meself an 'aase in Monte Carlo (Ahem, house) I was puttin' on me suit to catch the boat When I found that I'd been well and truly lumbered 'Cos the coupon was still in me coat If I ever get me hands upon the idiot who wrote "Into every life a little rain must fall" I shall take his book of poems and I'll stuff 'em up his throat 'Cos it seems to me as though I get it all I get l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered, yeah! And my luck with women's just too rough for words On a foursome or a twosome Guess who gets the one that's gruesome Me address book's full of really ugly birds But one day I met a lovely little darlin' 'Bout the only bit of luck I've ever had I took 'er 'ome to meet the family and got lumbered 'Cos me darlin' ran off with me dad I get l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered And the latest lumber makes me want to spit I wrote Newley a long letter Saying why aren't pop songs better He put music to it and it was a hit Ev'rywhere I go I hear his flamin' number On the Chinese his parade it's number ten (Yen, Ten) It's called "l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d, lumbered" But I'm never gonna get, never gonna get Never, never never gonna get, never gonna get Never, never, never gonna get lumbered again