Local Business Comedy - I Am A Claus lyrics

[Intro] Silent Night, oh holy night All is calm, all is bright Silent Night, oh holy night All is calm, all is bright Round yon virgin, mother and child Holy infant, tender and mild Sleep in heavenly peace Oh Silent Night, oh Silent Night [Bridge] I am a Claus I am a Claus I am a Claus [Hook 1] I am a Claus Hurry up with my damn Rudolph Hurry up with your trains and dolls Get the Sleigh out the damn garage I am a Claus Even though I'm a Santa Claus Your wish list in the hand of Claus So y'all better quit writing Clause [Verse 1] Naughty or nice is so unlike you Kissin' Santa's a** is so unlike you The only Santa that's not a white dude So here's a few hatin'-a** children to fight you If you have milk and cookies, I will bite you And I don't even wanna hear 'bout what children might do Old parents mentally still in high school Since the white beard they ain't never liked you Red-a** jacket with a napsack But everybody know you brought real gifts back Gifts are unwrapped, man, we the Rat Pack Dasher, Dancer, Donner, and sleigh back Rudolph reindeer, red nose shinin' Monop' in this b**h again, Milton Bradley Skip this house, these kids be bratty Until the day they stop calling me fatty [Hook 2] I am a Claus So hurry up with my damn Rudolph In a family-a** resident Hurry up with my damn eggnog I am a Claus I am a Claus I am a Claus I am a Claus [Interlude] AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!! [Verse 2] I just talked to Jesus He said, "What up, Kreezus?" I said, "Climbin' buildings Tryna give these children" I know [?] high Reindeers make that sleigh fly Su casa, mi casa I drink milk the most time [Bridge] [Interlude] x4 [Outro] Ain't no way I'm gonna turn up. I'm a Claus