[Intro: Lil Dicky] Whoa... so hard Jews is never supposed to go H.A.M., but f** it [Verse 1: Lil Dicky] Okay dat boy D-I-C-K-Y ballin' I been spittin' hella writtens cuz I'm finna get my wallet good b**hes know I holla good Graduated college wit a bag of f**ing honors but instead of making dollars I been acting like a kid Rappin' bout my f**in' dick And what started as a joke became the hottest f**in' sh** k**in' b**hes, Michael Vick, and women you know what this is Semi-colons in my texts, my instant message game is sick (HO!) f** that sh**, when I rub that b**h When I be up in the club I gotta tuck that dick When I bring a chicken back, and then I f** that b**h I'mma cum quick, I ain't playin' witcha Ay you know, I'm spittin crack up on the track I'm not attacking all you blacks Who try to rap, but I'm just saying that [Hook: Lil Dicky] I'm coming for these muthaf**in' brothas making money Errbody love the funny little buddy making jams now Ladies get them pants down Sorry to my god and my synagogue and my mom because this kike is going H.A.M. now [Verse 2: Lil Dicky] I ain't on that kosher sh** Facebook I be poking chicks Came up in the 90's yeah im on some Hocus Pocus sh** I don't push a lotus, I'm drivin a f**in' Focus But notice that I got the coldest and dopest designer sodas I'm an Izze sippin', bitty-kissin muthaf**in' G The way I cum on chickens, call Lil' Dicky mozzarella cheese I'm getting p**y, getting bread, I get a lot of f**ing yeast And I been Dustin Diamonds off, they bout to call Lil' Dicky Screech (WHOA!) Tampon sh**, 'cuz I rap for the flow And I get a lotta b**hes when I mac like a pro Gotta mac, it's a pro, never nap, but I doze I'm a little bit of black, like I shat in the snow And I know ya'll b**hes feelin' that Ain't as nobody real as that Rappin' like Jamaica's population, I been k**in' tracks (Like, in the Olympic Games? You ain't get it?) [Hook: Lil Dicky] I'm coming for these muthaf**in' brothas making money Errbody love the funny little buddy making jams now Ladies get them pants down Sorry to my god and my synagogue and my mom because this kike is going H.A.M. now [Verse 3: Lil Dicky] See them b**hes over there? Please don't f**ing over-stare That's who I be stroking, young and smoking like they over DARE Okay I was joking, I don't know dem I should grow a pair But I am not the most efficient closer when I'm sober, scared So I'm drinkin, f** you thinkin'? Middle Day that's word to Lincoln My left foot is always stinkin' I ball good so I ain't blinkin' Baby whatcha know about a muthaf**in' dog f**in' cats up the a** metaphorically...uh, paws (I got that pause in on time, right?) [Hook: Lil Dicky] I'm coming for these muthaf**in' brothas making money Errbody love the funny little buddy making jams now Ladies get them pants down Sorry to my god and my synagogue and my mom because this kike is going H.A.M. now