[Intro] Let's go, it's your boy LD, A.K.A. watch your girl p**y, homie Y'all missed me, don't you? I stay with a bo*er, I'm typically hard [Verse] My dickheads, I'm sorry, for keeping you waiting Just know that I miss you (I love y'all) Been leaving you all out to dry in the dark Like a cum loaded tissue (that's reference to semen) I woke up this morning like f** it, I got to address all the fans (I do) I need y'all to know I got plans (I do) I need y'all to know I been slaving away on my debut I'm taking a page out the playbook of Jay, Big and Dre, Nas and Ye If you studying rap like I study it then You would know what the f** I been tryin' to say (cla**ic) It's harder to wait (it is) But it's gotta be great (it do) And then when I drop that sh** all y'all gonna be like "Lil Dicky we made it!" (we made it) To everyone listening I think that it's cool that we know what they don't (they don't) It's not about if, only when and it's fun to be in on the joke Just did my first shows, nervous as sh**, never been on the road Started in Philly I signed my first titty, I k**ed dat sh** Still I ain't f**ing no hoes (like no p**y, it's sad) A part of the reason is none of the venues equipped with a shower (it's so inconvenient) So I leave for an hour and when I come back ain't no b**hes around (them b**hes be leaving) I f** with this sound Rapping like Migos is fun for a clown I could say anything and at the end of my statement This cadence will make it profound Like for example, ya man is about to go ham in the kitchen I'm fixin a sandwich (woo) All it is is some turkey and mayo but tell me that sh** ain't dramatic! (on ciabatta) It's stupid emphatic Stomach is f**ed I been poopin' erratic (damn) New Santa Monica dude I just moved in in March And I'm bout to get into some Madness Don't confuse what my plan is I never go out (it's depressing) I meant that my brackets about get sandy The beach on my house (ehh, more like three blocks away) I'm newly an Uncle (Uncle Dicky) My bro had a baby (he did, she cute) I'll be on by the time she can talk Her first words'll be "Dicky we made it!" (that's a BABY) Can't wait to be famous (oh) That sh** gon' be wild (I bet I'll meet Drake) I'm lookin' at Jason Sudeikis like who my Olivia Wilde (I need an actress) I love Anna Kendrick (legitimate feelings) She never tweet back (not once, ever) I figure she's busy or think that I'm creepy But baby I'm not! (unless you like that sh**) I just have this vision where both of us living like Bonnie and Clyde That's you as a singer and me as a rapper We could be like Jay and Beyonce for whites (that could be so cool) That would be the life I'd buy the Sixers and make you my wife Nah I'm just kiddin', I've only been smitten With totally fictional characters right? (obviously we'd have to get to know each other) You could be a grouch (that would s**) You could be so mean (I hope not) You could be the type that need warning with oral to avoid the cream (some b**hes hate the taste of semen) That's graphic as f** (I s** my own dick) But some b**hes is bougie (I've kissed other men) Forgive me, I just wanna make this pitch perfect I love all your movies (these ad-libs are fun) I need me some p**y (I'd buy it) I'm scared of the AIDS (the virus) I wish I was reckless There's rappers that's been getting head up on stage (Danny Brown) I'm way too afraid (my dick is a p**y) My dick been enraged But soon when I'm f**in in public post nut, he'll look up atcha boy and say "Dicky we made it!" (get 'em D) I'm just f**in wit the flow You know I still be on that ya ain't really f**in wit da boy I got 150 different ways to cut dat Love rap Soon they'll be f**in wit the dork like a humpback Yeah I'm bout to bring the fun back Every other rapper need to go and get a dunce cap Now I got a one track Mind till I run rap Mine till I'm done Wack rhymes better run rap (run ho) Maf**a sh** is done wrapped (over) You ain't wanna see me come back (nah) Y'all hot for a summer in July in Arizona Lil Dicky literally is where the sun at Knowing y'all, gotta show you where the sun at (hot) All of y'all been bad where my son at? (hot) Where my son at? (hot) Where my son at? (hot) Where my son at? (hot) Come get spanked, ho! [Outro] My New Year's resolution is to call these rappers hoes And mean that I mean that sh** Y'all some hoes (y'all some hoes) Y'all some hoes (y'all some hoes) Adios (that's Spanish)