[TOBY] Ladies and gentlemen May I have your attention, please? Are your nostrils a-quiver and tingling As well at that delicate, luscious ambrosial smell? Yes they are, I can tell Well, ladies and gentlemen That aroma enriching the breeze Is like nothing compared to its succulent source As the gourmets among you will tell you, of course Ladies and gentlemen You can't imagine the rapture in store Just inside of this door! There you'll sample Mrs. Lovett's meat pies Savoury and sweet pies As you'll see You who eat pies Mrs. Lovett's meat pies Conjure up the treat pies Used to be [COMPANY] Over here, boy, how about some ale? Let me have another, laddie Tell me, are they flavorsome? Could we have some service over here, boy? Could we have some service, waiter? Could we have some service? [MRS. LOVETT] Toby! [TOBY] Coming! 'Scuse me [MRS. LOVETT] Ale, there! [TOBY] Right, Mum! [MRS. LOVETT] Quick now! [COMPANY] God, that's good! [MRS. LOVETT] Nice to see you, dearie How have you been keeping Cor, me bones is weary Toby, one for the gentleman Hear the birdies cheeping Helps to keep it cheery Toby, throw the old woman out! [COMPANY] God, that's good! [MRS. LOVETT] What's your pleasure, dearie? No, we don't cut slices Cor, me eyes is bleary! Toby! None for the gentleman! I could up me prices I'm a little leery Business couldn't be better, though [COMPANY] God, that's good! [MRS. LOVETT] Knock on wood [TODD] Psst! [MRS. LOVETT] Excuse me [TODD] Psst! [MRS. LOVETT] Dear, see to the customers [TODD] Psst! [MRS. LOVETT] Yes, what, love? Quick, though, the trade is brisk [TODD] But it's six o'clock! [MRS. LOVETT] So it's six o'clock [TODD] It was due to arrive At a quarter to five And it's six o'clock! I've been waiting all day! But it should have been here By now! [MRS. LOVETT] And it's probably already Down the block! It'll be here, it'll be here! Have a beaker of beer And stop worrying, dear Now, now [COMPANY] More hot pies! [MRS. LOVETT] God! Will you wait there Coolly, cause my customers truly Are getting unruly [TODD] You'll come back When it comes? [MRS. LOVETT] And what's your pleasure, dearie? Oops! I beg your pardon! Just me hands is smeary Toby! Run for the gentleman! Don't you love a garden? Always makes me teary Must be one of them foreigners [COMPANY] God, that's good! That is delicious! [MRS. LOVETT] What's my secret Frankly, dear, forgive my candor Family secret All to do with herbs Things like being careful with your coriander That's what makes the gravy grander! [COMPANY] More hot pies! More hot! More pies! [TODD] Psst! [MRS. LOVETT] Excuse me [TODD] Psst! [MRS. LOVETT] Dear, see to the customers [TODD] Psst! [MRS. LOVETT] Yes, what, love? Quick, though, the trade is brisk [TODD] But it's here! [MRS. LOVETT] It's where? [TODD] Coming up the stair! [MRS. LOVETT] I'll get rid of this lot As they're still pretty hot And then I'll be there! [TODD] It's about to be opened Or don't you care? [MRS. LOVETT] No, I'll be there! I will be there! But they'll never be sold [TODD] But we have to prepare! If I let 'em get cold Incidentally, dearie You know Mrs. Mooney Sales've been so dreary Toby! Poor thing is penniless What about that loony? Looking sort of beery Oh well, got her comeuppance And that'll be thruppence and [COMPANY] God, that's good Have you just ever tasted smell such [MRS. LOVETT] So she should Oh my God what more that's pies good! [TODD/MRS. LOVETT] Ooh! Ooh! [TODD] Is that a chair fit for a king A wondrous neat And most particular chair? [MRS. LOVETT] It's gorgeous! It's gorgeous! You tell me where Is there a seat Can half compare With this particular thing! It's perfect! It's gorgeous! I have a few Minor adjustments To make You make your few Minor adjustments They'll take A moment I'll call you You take your time I'll go see to the customers I have another friend [TOBY] Is that a pie fit for a king A wondrous sweet And most particular thing? [MRS. LOVETT] It's gorgeous! It's gorgeous! You see, ma'am, why There is no meat pie Can compete With this delectable pie It's perfect! It's gorgeous! [TOBY/MRS. LOVETT] The crust all velvety and wavy That glaze, those crimps And then, the thick, succulent gravy One whiff, one glimpse So rich, so tender That you surrender [TODD] Now to test This best of barber chairs It's time It's time [TODD] Psst! [MRS. LOVETT] Excuse me [TODD] Psst! [MRS. LOVETT] Dear, see to the customers [TODD] Psst! [MRS. LOVETT] Yes, what, love? [TODD] Quick, now! [MRS. LOVETT] Me heart's aflutter! [TODD] When I pound the floor [MRS. LOVETT] When you pound the floor [TODD] It's a signal to show That I'm ready to go When I pound the floor! I just want to be sure When I'm certain that you're In place [MRS. LOVETT] Yes you told me I know When you're ready to go When you pound the floor Won't you trust me, won't you trust me I'll be waiting below For the whistle to blow I'll pound three times Three times And then you Three times If you Exactly [COMPANY] More hot pies! [MRS. LOVETT] God! [COMPANY] More hot! [MRS. LOVETT] Right! [COMPANY] More pies! [TODD] Psst! [COMPANY] More! [MRS. LOVETT] Wait! [COMPANY] More hot pies! More hot! More pies! More! Hot! Pies! [TOBY] Eat them slow and feel the crust, how thin she rolled it [MRS. LOVETT] Eat them slow and feel the crust, how thin I rolled it [TOBY/MRS. LOVETT] Eat them slow cause every one's a prize Eat them slow cause that's the lot and now we've sold it Come again tomorrow! [MRS. LOVETT] Hold it! [COMPANY] More hot pies! [MRS. LOVETT] Bless my eyes! [TODD] Right this way, sir [MRS. LOVETT] Fresh supplies! How about it, dearie Be here in a twinkling Just confirms my theory Toby, God watches over us Didn't have an inkling Positively eerie Toby, throw the old woman out! [TOBY] Is that a pie Fit for a king A wondrous sweet And most delectable thing You see, Mum Why, there is no meat pie [COMPANY] God, that's good! That is de-, have you -licious, ever tasted, smell such Oh my God, what perfect, more, that's Pies, such flavor God, that's good!