Hey there Mr Bartender now have a little pitty on me Time is rough and a fuss is tough and I'm where I'm not supposed to be I'll give you my watch for a fifth of Scotch If you don't make fun cause it don't run no better than I do after six Hey there Mr Bartender lots of things are botherin' me There's the hydrogen bomb in VietNam and I'm out of sigarettes since three I'll give you my stickpen for a pint of gin If you don't joke cause the diamond's broke And it don't shine no better than I do after six [acoustic guitar] Hey there Mr Bartender you better get a drip on me My pulse is slow when I'm about to go I need a little charity I'll give you my shoes for a gla** of booze If you won't tell they don't smell no better than I do after six (Oh, bartender I'll do anything for you I'll pick my guitar Bartender you listen to me bartender)