[John Oliver] Hey, kids! [Kids] Hi! [John Oliver] How you doing? [Kids] Good! [John Oliver] Do you want to sing a song about the 50 states and the inequities inherent in living in our nation's capital? [Kids] Yeah! [John Oliver] Heck, let's do it, shall we? Okay [Verse 1: All] Alabama and Alaska Arizona, Arkansas California, Colorado Connecticut, and more There are 50 states in total And we'll sing their names with glee But there's one place that gets shafted And it's Washington, D.C [JOHN OLIVER] That's great, kids. Now, be more specific about the problem [Verse 2: All] All the rest of us can choose a path That we think is best But any choice that D.C. makes Is easily suppressed 'Cause some a**hole with a rider Who might live in Tennessee Can destroy a needle program For preventing HIV [John Oliver] It's true. It's horrifying, but it's true. What's a solution, do you think? [Verse 3: All] Let them have gun laws! Let them have weed! Let them decide the Things that they need! [John Oliver] And if you're totally convinced that there should be just 50 states [Kids] Well, then let's all kick out Florida 'Cause no one thinks they're great [All] Oh, yes, let's all kick out Florida 'Cause no one thinks they're great!