I met an anarchist in Tompkins Square Park He was an angry man, spinning words so dark He called for d**h to rich men, d**h to Yuppies too d**h to art f*gs, bourgeois blacks, d**h to landlord Jews! k** the bankers, k** the cops, k** him her and he k** them all for CBS, NBC, ABC, TBN, CNN, HBO, Live At Five, MTV Spring Break Party Weekend, Sally Jesse Raphael, Geraldo, Oprah, Arsenio, Regis and Kathy Lee... And I said "Hey, I admire your get up and go Your youthful brooding and s**ually charged enthusiasm And all your other utterly naïve and thoroughly endearing adolescent qualities and I Bet you can keep it up all night, can't you? But I bet you don't even use a rubber, no you don't even use a rubber... Because You think you can live forever Or do you have this adorable and misguided notion that d**h is something really radical and cool But I still can help being wildly attracted to your fresh-faced uncompromised tattooed rebel stance and, goddamn, I'd like to help you sing your tune." But I've been making friends with this here d**h And it seems a might too soon And I said, "Hello d**h, goodbye Avenue A I'm getting tired of waiting Tired of being afraid Joseph Campbell gave me hope and now I have been saved So I sing, 'Hello d**h, goodbye Avenue A.'" Now I'm not trying to be flippant here, or irreverent, or exploitive, or sarcastic, or ironic, or post-modern, and this is not a parody Get it? Got it? Good I've been thinking what he told me, that it's okay to cry When we held the crystal Tina Chow spent twelve grand to buy; Homeopathic mantras, fresh-squeezed wheat gra** juice Doctors up in Bellevue, Doctors Salk and Suess And it's time we'll all be going home If you can find the way Yes, everyone is going home Going home to stay And it's time we find a way to cope, a way to find Some hope, for some it's the Bible or Buddha or Mohammed or Krishna or cheesecake or bourbon or the bu*thole Surfers or Giorgio Armani or Romeo Gigli And you really can't afford it but it looks so fabulous on you so why don't you take it on home, and speaking of home, isn't it about time you move out of that East Village hellhole, the one with the Honeymooners view of the brick wall out the window because you deserve something more life affirming like a tree, or a flower, or a patch of gra**, or a singing little bluebird, or maybe you just want to take your boyfriend to Europe because he's never been or quit the job you always hated or learn how to play the guitar (it's easy) or get obscenely drunk in a piano bar and sing show tunes... Show tunes! ...and don't be embarra**ed, because at this point I'd rather see "Brigadoon" than "Henry: Portrait of a Serial k**er", or maybe you'd like to get politically active so you disrupt a Presidential press conference by shoving a 5 pound week old stalk of broccoli between those thin lying lizard lips that no one can read anyway because half the country is illiterate and the other half is apathetic including the First Lady who couldn't step just 500 feet out of the overdecorated White House to visit the goddamn Quilt or maybe you'd like to put a bullet into Jesse Helms' peabrain but you know when you start thinking like that, when you start thinking like they do, then it's time to let go of the material world, so maybe you'd like to get yourself some religion cause Jesus is the Way Jesus is the Way Jesus is the Way Jesus is the Way Jesus is the Way Jesus is the Way Besides, it's a lot easier to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior when He looks like Willem DaFoe But maybe that stuff turns you off, so you rent "Power of Myth"; it made me feel really good (for about ten minutes), or maybe you'd rather do acid and listen to Led Zeppelin... Then again, the last time I took hallucinogenic d** was about five years ago; I took mushrooms in Joshua Tree looking for that Carlos Castaneda kind of experience. I got off, my boyfriend didn't; he fell asleep, left me alone with the TV, turned on PBS, you know what was on? ..."Berlin Alexanderplatz" So I started watching it, and you know what...? I got really bummed out And that's when I said No to Drugs No to Drugs No no no no no to d** And maybe you'd like to say no to d** too or maybe you want to join Atheists of America or the Madonna Fan Club or watch Richard Gere follow the Dali Lama around the world and then do those oh-so-Zen like movies with those oh-so-Zen like messages like, "Hey! It's fun to be a prostitute!" I can't wait to spread my legs across Hollywood Blvd. Because then maybe some rich, handsome billionaire in a Jag will come driving up and take me shopping on Rodeo Drive and that's what a woman's all about anyway, right? s**ing and shopping s**ing and shopping s**ing and shopping s**ing and shopping C'mon, it's a singalong! s**ing and shopping s**ing and shopping... s**ing and shopping... s**ing and shopping... But hey, who am I to argue because it's the feel good movie of the summer, it's the feel good movie of the year, it's the feel good movie of the Nineties, it's the feel good movie of the Millennium, and you know what? If it puts a smile on your face and a song in your heart and a spring in your step, well... Whatever makes you happy Whatever makes you happy Whatever makes you happy Whatever makes you happy Whatever gives you hope Even if it's a truly tasteless joke So... Fax a manifesto Pencil in a date Let me know when something gives I hope it's not too late Cause I'm getting tired of waiting Tired of being afraid Joseph Campbell gave me hope and now I have been saved So I sing Hello d**h, goodbye Avenue A Hello d**h, goodbye Avenue A Hello d**h, goodbye Avenue A Hello d**h, goodbye Avenue A