I tried to phone a friend tonight I paid to get in here and now The loneliness has found me In the nightclub of my nightmares The choice between this sweaty hell p**nography at Novotel The redneck show on CNN And the picture on the wall Clubland, clubland Clubland never meant that much to me Clubland, clubland Clubland never held that much for me All the little Draculas The s**ers and the vacuous The throbbing of the temples now And the prices at the bar Did God send you to k** my joy? Am I a girl? Are you a boy? If you are Prince then I'm Rob Roy And the writing's on the wall Clubland, clubland Clubland never meant that much to me Clubland, clubland Clubland never meant a damn to me I came, I saw, I left and then I went back to my bed again I cursed the orange counter pane And the picture on the wall I shut my eyes, I closed my head I prayed I wouldn't wake up dead But when it's dark you still see red And the picture on the wall Clubland, clubland Clubland never meant that much to me Clubland, clubland Clubland never lent a hand to me Clubland