I tried to join the X-Men But I think they're maybe racist Just because I'm human they don't want my help It seems it doesn't really matter If your super power's firing tuna melts I tried to the join the Justice League But Batman was a douche to me And Black Canary wouldn't tell me hi And Plastic Man changed to a middle finger That was thirty stories high I got a message from the Great Lakes Avengers They offered me a membership but I did not accept 'Cause they're a walking disaster Like a narwhal with a fireball They just don't make sense at all They're the worst heroes of all time To call themselves Avengers is a crime Marcel Marceau was Europe's favorite mime So I guess I'll look around I tried to join Green Lantern Corps Those Guardians were such a bore They said no way but I wasn't surprised That's okay those uniforms were so tight That I feared they'd chafe my thighs I tried to join Fantastic Four I didn't even reach the door Who thought that H.E.R.B.I.E.'s such a serious guy? The reason I was told I could not join Was that their car could not seat five I got a message from the Great Lakes Avengers They offered me a membership but I did not accept 'Cause they're a walking disaster Like a narwhal with a fireball They just don't make sense at all They're the worst heroes of all time To call themselves Avengers is a crime Marcel Marceau was Europe's favorite mime So I guess I'll look around But yeah they just kept calling me and hounding me They said I'd fit their line-up to a tee And as my options they were dwindling down I kept holding out for something better I thought Was in store for me, in store for me Doom Patrol (no way), Cyberforce (no way) Alpha Flight (no way), also you are not Canadian Power Pack (too old), JSA (too young) Birds of Prey (you're a dude) So I guess I'll join the Great Lakes Avengers They offered me a membership and so I did accept Though they're a walking disaster I find their heart of gold is something that cannot be sold Cuz they're the worst heroes of all time It's remarkable they ever stop a crime Sitting poolside with free beer and lime So I guess I'll stick around So I guess I'll stick around So I guess I'll stick around Yeah I guess I'll stick around