Kip Blackshire - Underground lyrics

[Intro] A lot of people ask me Where the f** I've been at the last few years sh**, I don't know But I do know, I'm back now [Hook] Here comes the rain and thunder now Nowhere to run, to run to now I disappeared, don't wonder how Looking for me? I'm underground [Verse 1] Dre, I'm down here, under the ground, dig me up Broken tibias, fibias, yeah, fix me up 60 s*uts, all of them dying from asphyxia After they sip piss through a Christopher Reeves sippy cup Dixie cups, toxins, boxes of Oxy pads Enough Oxycontin to send a f**in' ox to rehab Wack job in the back in a black stocking cap Jacking off to a hockey mask at a boxing match (He can't say that!) Yes he can I just did, f*ggot, now guess again Better text message your next-of-kin Tell 'em sh**'s about to get extra messy, especially when I flex again And throw a f**in' lesbian In wet cement f*ggoty, f*ggoty, f*ggoty Raggedy Ann and Andy No! Raggedy Andy and Andy No, it can't be, it can't be Yes, it can be The f**ing Anti-Christ is back, Dante It's Satan in black satin panties This is Amityville, calamity, goddamn it Insanity, pills, fanny pack filled with Xannies Through every nook and cranny Lookin' for trannies Milk and cookies spilled on my silk negligee, looky Razor-ba-lades with me to make you ba-leed Cases of Maybelline makeup lay on a table of weed "Slim Shady? sh** sounds like a fable to me" 'Til he jumps out of the f**in' toilet When you're taking a pee [Hook] [Verse 2] 6 semen samples, 17 strands of hair Found in the back of a van After the shoot with Vanity Fair Hannah Montana, prepare to elope with a can opener And be cut open like cantaloupe on canopy beds And Glad bags Yeah, glad to be back Cause last year was a tragedy That landed me smack-dab in rehab f**in' doctor, I ain't understand a damn word he said I planned to relapse the second I walked out of that b**h Two weeks in Brighton I ain't enlightened Biting into a f**in' Vicodin Like I'm a Viking Oh, lightning is striking It might be a f**in' sign, I need a psychic Evaluation f** Jason It's Friday the 19th That means it's just a regular day (hah!) And this is the kind of sh** I think of regularly f**ing lesbian shouldn't have had her legs in the way Now she's pregnant and gay Missin' both legs and begging to stay [Hook] [Verse 3] Tell the critics I'm back, and I'm comin' To spit it back in abundance Hit a f*g with onions Then split a bag of Funyuns Mad at me? Understandable Cannibal, shoot an animal Out of a cannon and have 'em catapult At an adult Captain of a cult With an elite following To turn Halloween back into a trick-or-treat holiday Have Michael Myers lookin' like a liar Swipe his powers Replace his knife with flowers And a stack of fliers Hit Jason Vorhees With a 40 Stuck a suppository Up his a**, and made him tell me a story Gave Hannibal Lector a f**in' nectarine And sat him in the f**in' fruit and vegetable section And gave him a lecture Walked up Elm street with a f**ing Wiffle bat drew Fought Freddy Krueger and Edward Scissorhands, too And came out with a little scratch, ooh Lookin' like I got in a f**in' pillow fight With a triple-fat goose Insanity Can it be vanity? Where's the humanity In having a twisted fantasy With an arm-and-leg amputee Straitjacket With a hundred and eight brackets And a strap That wraps twice around my back -- Then they latch it Cut your f**ing head off And ask you where you're headed off to Get it? Headed off to? Medic, this headache's awful This anesthetic's pathetic So's this diabetic waffle And this prosthetic arm Keeps crushing my hard taco [Hook] [Outro] So, it wasn't a choice It was "I had to do this" And now I got 90 days clean And uh, that's all I have to share Thanks (Thanks for sharing Brian Is there anyone else who'd like to share this evening?) Yeah I got something to share: "When you walked through the door you were queer to me So come here, baby boy, just come here to me You're a co*k-boy, everybody wants you You're gayer than you would ever claim to I won't have to rape you So homie, lay down down down, lay down down down Lay down down down, lay down, lay down" Where's everybody going? This always went over real big in Gay-A Ok wait, I got another one "I just love condoms and lots of cum" No? Oh, sh**