[Round 1: Carter Deems] Real rap I just realized I should've worn a different shirt Cause I caught a whiff of something weird and I remembered that the Febreze didn't work I'm not into jerks, but I am into integers Carter doing numbers standing next to the presidents like Henry Kissinger GZ, I'll take the chain like at Golden Pond after I son this dude like a golden pond My neck is what I rest that chain of gold upon My flow is on, you go hard I go Han, Going Overboard like Goldie Hawn I'm making friends and it Feels Good like a Tony Toni Tone song My armpits smell like Cheese and that's why I could never go to prom Besides I had better things to do with my time, shouts out to Pokemon A coaster from Pier 1 Imports, that's what I put my soda on He's overdrawn, one punch you know he gone Don't he have to rhyme hard? I hit him with a light bar, that's Obi Wan You said you like to eat pickles more than I do, well you know he wrong Pickle bars, pickle jars, pickle juice is what I'm floating on I've eaten so many different types of delicious pickles it feels like my throat is gone For real, I got so many deals they call me Young Toyota-thon I make delicious English muffin pizzas, that's an easy five steps My life is great, from the couch to the microwave that's an easy five steps Battle rap bad boy, I don't care if you believe the hype yet So ahead of my time I watch TGIF in 3D hi-def My crazy flow is a laser show, I bring the hi-tech Your gun lines are over our heads, you bring the high Tecs You don't think I can flex you haven't seen Deemsy's thighs yet My muscles come out of nowhere like green screen biceps Trouble? That's something I haven't been in since I got caught burning incense They pay me in Capri Suns they pay you in cents You got a gun you can send those rounds to my door like Thin Mints You carry the heat but run in the streets will only bring you pain like shin splints I walk around with two nickles in my pockets, that's ten cents In '96 I turned 11 years old I haven't been 10 since To k** A Mockingbird left an imprint, my intent is to put love and joy in Dent We can share a laugh, it's like I'm writing a paragraph the way I'm going to end Dent (indent) [Round 2: Carter Deems] You can show up with a Calicoe and start blasting bro and it doesn't matter my cat's bigger Cute face you run the place no need for a cat sitter Here's the scoop we stay fresh, no need for cat litter Eat a Fancy Feast throw it on your front yard that's how my cat litter I know you like dogs more than cats and he probably even own's pets But you look exactly like the type of guy that puts sweaters on pets Your dog is fine as long as he gets out of the heat and his nose wet Slow it down, your dogs so fine I get out with that heat, no sweat I'm nervous still, he'll call his dawgs to get in my face and start barking Slow it down, nerves of steel, it's your call if you and your dawgs wanna face the bar king No hands, the steel will cook 'em when I pull out the toaster Slow it down, no hands, still I'm cooking I just let my toes stir If you run for us we get it popping I'm not talking bubble gum Slow it down, no, I've already done three in a row I don't want to do another one Look, you think you got the iller flow, everything you spit is unoriginal, you're just a copy cat I'll take some calicos into Kinkos and try to copy cats I went to Petco last week to cop a cat cause I'm filming a crime drama called Paw & Order; the cop's a cat You say you stacking chips and you got bucks but everything you spit is counterfeit I'm remodeling my kitchen and I need to make sure that the counter's fit I make my girlfriend cry so much I can't even count her fits If it's beef you wanna fill then we can cow turf it Bars Carter stay cooking those hot rounds like a microwave Your mom has a small perm, that's a micro wave I'll do a dirty job then say "goodbye" that's a micro wave One wing in the air going back and forth that's how my crow wave You say you got those hot rounds, but no delivery that's Digiornos When I talk to girls my nostrils bleed, does your nose? Last week I told my parents that I'm a battle rapper, does your know? Tonight at dinner the waiter asked me if I wanted the soup du jour; no The woman married to your uncle, that's ya auntie In the mid 2000's my favorite singer; that's Ashanti 100% real, even my abs are hip hop; that's Sean T Corey Matthews wearing his best friends shirt, that's a Shawn tee [Round 3: Carter Deems] I'll pull up in a 1984 microwave with the door tinted Inside the same color as marshmallows cause I like to cook s'mores in it Man of the people I represent I should run for senate If I do this he'll choke in every round I use the Force in it On Friday night you can catch me on iTunes listening to Coldplay samples You see defeat (da feet) year round even on a cold day; sandals You can catch me on that block with that rock I'm okay with the handles In the kitchen whipping that pot, I make home made candles I pull up in a Maserati same color as Paul Giamatti On the ground next to my car that's where my top be, going at top speed, you will never stop me Cause I hop in my car and floor it like some top part of some broccoli Yeah, I'm so wild I walk into the woods an hour I'll come back with a fox Then we'll hop in my car and eat some french fries from Jack N The Box The cat mayor, so when I spit every citizen of Cat City watch Plus I own a cereal box same color as Ca**idy's watch Money really does grow on trees, come out to my farm and see Money on everything even my wall's green like my favorite pharmacy I'm a farmer see, making a come back like Harper Lee, a member of the hardest team All my friends are animals like Arthur Reed Yeah, I love to recycle like when Arthur helped out to clean the park and river I can recycle an entire round and still get the W like Arthur's sister This entire round I've been farting mister But for real, forget about this battle I've had enough of rapping We should just hang out and play video games but I must warn you I s** at Madden We could hang out once or we could kick it twice like Double Dragon But when it comes to this battle it's like I'm doing a math problem on an airplane, I'm up and add 'em Bars, that's bars