I was riding into work today On a f**ing Citibike And I'm pa**ing some slow a** piece of sh** And I always make a lot of room when I pa**, Because you never f**ing know when the guy you're pa**ing Is going to f**ing swerve toward you And I thought I had looked behind me Because I usually do Because there's a lot of f**ing maniacs On the f**ing bike path by the f**ing Hudson But I guess I didn't Because just as I'm pa**ing this slow a** motherf**er on my right Here comes this f**ing speed f**ing racer, Gives me maybe f**ing two inches on my left As he pa**es me and the slow a** f**ing guy And I gasped like a girl Seriously, I gasped like a little f**ing, f**ing little girl Like if those guys on the Jersey f**ing Shore would have heard me They would have thought their opinion of my s**ual orientation Would have been f**ing indisputably proven So this f**ing Lycra wearing f**ing piece of sh** Pa**es me and I think I should f**ing catch up to him And pa** him, giving him plenty of f**ing room And say to him: This is how you pa** people, you f**ing piece of sh**. But this f**ing piece of sh** Is on a ten speed And I'm on a f**ing slow a** Citibike And I'm maybe 20, 25 years older than Lycraf** over here And what the f** do I f**ing care any f**ing way What the f** am I trying to f**ing prove I'll just keep riding to the f**ing office And write a f**ing poem about this f**ing piece of sh** later That's what I thought I'll write a poem about you later, Lycraf** And I watched his stupid f**ing Lycra covered a** Speed away on that f**ing 10-speed And I thought Thank you, f**face Thank you for another f**ing poem.