King Missile - The Birds lyrics

(spoken) Some days, I just wanna throw the piano out the window, and watch it slowly, softly fall to Earth as I silently hum the theme music to Dolemite. Am I sick again, or is it the birds? I wish they'd stop singing and fly south already. They watch all the wrong television programs, they have all the incorrect political opinions, they don't know the words to any New Kids on the Block songs, and they don't even own a decent pair of walking shoes. Who are they to tell me how to run my life? Who the f** are they? Nobody's gonna come over here from over there and expect me to adopt their social behavior. I'm not learning their dances. I'm not eating their food. I'm not gonna smell like them. No f**ing way! No, not the birds. I'm not talking about the birds. Listen! Do you think it's a coincidence that that same morning I woke up from that dream about the international banking conspiracy and the space aliens that fed me pancakes with no syrup or bu*ter?that same morning, Tom Brokaw went into a Denny's restaurant, poured ketchup on his penis, and ran around screaming, "Who wants a real Grand Slam Breakfast?" And it never made the papers! It never made the TV news! It never even made it to Hollywood. Don't be naive! They're all in on it! They're all in on it together! They're out to f** me, they're out to f** you, they're out to f** anyone who gets in their way. And don't try to tell me about trilaterals, multinationals, multiple Oswald theories, multiple orgasms, the Blue Jays, the Orioles, the Cardinals, the Pope, the Bishop, the CIA, the Family, The Book of the Law, page 31 of Macbeth, Shirley MacLaine, Edgar Cayce, Casey Jones, Casey Stengel, KC and the Sunshine Band, "Que Sera, Sera," 'cause that doesn't work. It all adds up. I saw a vision last night! I heard a voice, and I'm here to tell you once and for all, 'cause I'm fully convinced: it's seamless. It's perfect. It's absolute limitless light. I've been there and back. But I have to go now. I need a bath. My body is burning. I have to go soak my head. That's really not necessary, but thanks anyway.