King Missile - Dick lyrics

Dick was obsessed with his dick. He would beat off at least three times a day In the morning, when he woke up Right after or right before dinner Or right before he went to sleep If he didn't get in his three daily beat-off sessions He was a pain in the a** to be around He jerked off to TV Especially I Dream of Jeannie and Dynasty and Charlie's Angels He pulled his pud to p**no books He even jerked off to the underwear ads In the magazine section of the Sunday New York Times If you were a girl, talking to him on the phone Chances are he was beating his meat to the sound of your voice 'Cause coming was his raison d'etre One time he was in the middle of jerking off to Vanna White on Wheel of Fortune When a job offer came to him over the phone And he needed the job bad But he told the man he'd call him right back 'Cause he needed to come more than he needed the job It wasn't that he was ugly or afraid of women or anything like that He just honestly preferred his right hand I saw him the other day And he told me that last Friday he was with two girls at their place And they both wanted him to stay over But he went home Called up another girl And jacked off while talking to her I don't know why he tells me this stuff Dick's a f**ed up guy