King Fantastic - Guide to Safely Petting Cougars lyrics

[Verse 1: k**er Reese One] She was forty-five years and super Met her at the Hollywood Ball, my seats were super Be very, very, quiet; Reese is hunting cougar Pinot Grigio, to the ho I maneuver (Yo!) "My name's Mauricio, and to tell the truth I should have practiced what the f** I was gon' say to you" And we she laughed, her tits bounced up and down And that sundress, please undress I'm hooked on Miss Blank-Blank From the cla** of '84 though (What you know about that?) She got grandkids too (What you know about that?) We shot the sh** for another quick bit When you get a few ticks, give a young man a hick [Hook] She was a dime, back in '99 Now she ain't quite that, but the b**h is still fine And when I get her on her spine She slow-f**s to sleep, that makes your n***a weep (Yeah!) I'd rather f** with your moms Because she's past being silly, and her p**y's the bomb And I remind her of your daddy That remind her of her twenties and a time when she was happy [Hook cont.] She's always upbeat And it's always her treat n***a, cheers to your momma (Hey!) X4 [Verse 2: k**er Reese One] She respects a real nig And when you move out the house, we gon' do it real big We gon' gut your whole room We gon' put mirrors on the ceiling We gon' f** and do shrooms She don't go to Coachella She is more purple rain than she is Rockafeller My little soccer mamasita Married a milf, all pleasure and no guilt My brand new lady friend, she stay in the pocket She ain't a f**ing scatterbrain, she be on the topic She's from another time and space She has been around the block and you can see it on her face [Hook] She was a dime, back in '99 Now she ain't quite that, but the b**h is still fine And when I get her on her spine She slow-f**s to sleep, that makes your n***a weep (Yeah!) I'd rather f** with your moms Because she's past being silly, and her p**y's the bomb And I remind her of your daddy That remind her of her twenties and a time when she was happy [Hook cont.] She's always upbeat And it's always her treat n***a, cheers to your momma (Hey!) X4