Back in the muther f**in saddle my six shooter strapped and I'm lookin for a battle Out on the plains I'm just a loner my saddle horn rubs right and yo it's givin me a bo*er I got thoughts of Annie Oakley but that buck toothed tramp in that last town she broke me And we didn't even f** I gave my last gold tooth 'n gold nugget to get my dick s**ed 3 days out on the frontier and I'd k** for a cheap who*e and a barrel of cold beer I need a s*ut for a service I take a peak at the shiip and they all run away nervous Man I gotta get my rocks off cuz my Wranglers don't fit right unless my co*k's soft Long nights by the fire me a Trigger.....go figure [Chorus] I'm a desperate rado didn't take any practice A desperate rado got a co*k like a cactus Now I drift through the desert like a wild coyote horny as a toad trippin off peyote Holdin uptrains and gettin goods by the sack I'm known thru out the west as the pie eyed mack And to the law I'm no stranger I'm wanted dead or alive cuz I shot the Lone Ranger And then Tonto tried to get down so I boned his b**h slit hes throat and then I skipped town That's the way I run my show paint towns red f** hoes and then I lay low I know you think I'm archaic but my dick's like a sword I see p**y and wanna slay it Out on the plains it gets linely sometimes I feel homely new faces new towns no one knows me Guns co*ked in my holster u see my face in each town nailed to a pole on a poster I'm always lookin for the quick buck then always blowin my cash on a b**h with a big bu*t Some say my head's hollow f** em....I'm just a [Chorus II] Desperate rado trottin thru the bad lands A desperate rado tokin down with all the cowhands A desperate rado didn't take much practice A desperate rado got a co*k like a cactus Now I f** who*es by the scores up ten fold on any fellow in any town I can be found at the local bordello Never yellow never chicken listen for my spurs draggin, and when I'm kickin dust you better circle up the wagons So when I rip thru your town don't be gawkin just tip your hat and Tex keep walkin Cuz I'm a gun slingin top hand f** with me and you'll go out like Custer at his last stand I'm a low down buckaroo if you leave me alone with your mother then I'll f** her too Cuz I'm a sidewinding nomad and morals in upbringing is something that I never had Known as the ruff ridin Texan a bad buck from the day of my inception. And I was raised in the poor house my mother kicked me out so she could start a who*e house Now since the day I left the corral I've been on a quest for the plant that's called mescal Cuz pale rider once pulled me aside and told me that high was the best way to ride... [Chorus III] Now I'm a desperate rado always lookin for a fight A desperate rado puffin on a peace pipe I'm a desperate rado on the run from the law A desperate rado baddest one you ever saw