Key & Peele - East/West Bowl Rap lyrics

[East Intro: L'Carpetron Dookmarriot and J'Dinkalage Morgoone] Hey, J'Dinkalage! Yeah, L'Carpetron? Check out Leoz. I wonder what he's dreaming about He is probably dreamin' about what we's gon' do to the team from the west I wonder… [Verse 1] T'variusness, T.K. for short I'm a bad mamma jamma and an awful sport Smoochie-Wallace, call me Tyroil Wrappin' up rushers like aluminum foil McCringleberry, I'm very scary If I got the ball you best be wary L'Carpetron Dookmarriot I love the ball so much I wanna marry it [Hook] ‘Cause the eastern schools gonna beat the fools from the West (Juckson: Ooh yeah!) Where football's concerned we gonna show you that we are the best (Morgoone: We are the best) [Verse 2] I'm Ibrahim Moizoos And my rhymes are clean like my name was Dr. Seuss Probincrux, the third, they call me the Probe I can intercept balls with my earlobes Shower-Handel, that's my name Power candle sounds the same With Jackmerius, D'squarius, and Javarison-Lamar Jaxon-Waxon plays sax and D'Marcus plays guitar [Hook] ‘Cause the eastern schools gonna beat the fools from the West (Williums: Okay! Don't you know?) Where football's concerned we gonna show you that we are the best (Jaxon-Waxon: Indeed, we are the best) [Leoz Maxwell Jilliumz] *gasp* It must have been all a dream. *gasp* Or was it? [West Intro: Quattro Quattro] Oh, it's on Wa**up, y'all? It's Jefferspin I'm the big left tackle, gonna help us win X-Wing @Aliciousness I'll use my force to give the East distress L'Goodling-Splatt is where it's at Runnin' through defenders and padding my stats Y'all know me, I'm Washingbeard Catch so many balls it's a little weird [Hook] ‘Cause you know we gonna win against the East (Quattro: This is what we said) We gonna get the most points and they gonna get the least (Carter: It's tryna calm the voices running through my head) Back it up, it's Hardunkichud I hit the QB and make a noise like thud Can't block me and all of that jazz ‘Cause y'all don't want none of this Ozamataz They player (T.J. A.J.!) Formerly known (Eeeeeeeee! (Construction noise) Lewith!) As Mousecop (and Donkey Teeth!) I'm the touchdown man, that's Grundelplith But y'all ain't ready for my man, Dan Smith (Yo, yo) Smith comma Daniel Other kickers in the league don't hold a candle Cheerleaders up on my chocolate crotch, those goddamn baby co*ker-spaniel BYU, why you be, mad ‘cause the b**hes wanna get with me Got swishers, sweets, and dutchies, rollin' ‘em so my team can touch these Hittin' field goals blunted, been drunk when I punted Been like a hundred times that I already done it Oh sh**, see, these haters thought I was playin' Stayin' away from my face with all the bullsh** they sayin' But just remember who you tauntin' when you tossin' those gauntlets I'm Dan Smith and the West is gettin' rowdy like monsters