Kevin Smith - Mallrats - True Story About A Cat lyrics

One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his a**. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarra**ing for my relatives and all, but the next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And I says to him: 'Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck in your a** too. Why don't you knock it off?' And he said to me: 'Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?' My cousin was a weird guy.