[H. CHANDLER] Are we gonna have a problem? You got a bone to pick? You've come so far Why now are you pulling on my dick? I'd normally slap your face off And everyone here could watch But I'm feeling nice Here's some advice Listen up, biotch! [HEATHERS] I like! [H. CHANDLER] Lookin' hot Buying stuff they cannot [H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA] I like! [H. CHANDLER] Drinkin' hard Maxin' Dad's credit card [H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA] I like! [H. CHANDLER] Skippin' gym Scaring her Screwing him [H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA] I like! [H. CHANDLER] k**er clothes [HEATHERS] Kickin' nerds in the nose! [H. CHANDLER] If you lack the balls You can go play dolls Let your mommy fix you a snack [H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA] Woah! [H. CHANDLER] Or you could come smoke Pound some rum and coke In my Porsche with the quarterback [HEATHERS] Woah! Woah! Woah! Honey, whatchu waitin' for? Welcome to my candy store It's time for you to prove You're not a loser anymore Then step into my candy store [H. CHANDLER & H. MCNAMARA] Guys fall [H. DUKE] At your feet Pay the check [H. MCNAMARA] Help you cheat [HEATHERS] All you [H. DUKE] Have to do [H. CHANDLER] Say goodbye to Shamu [HEATHERS] That freak's [H. MCNAMARA] Not your friend I can tell in the end [HEATHERS] If she [H. DUKE] Had your shot [HEATHERS] She would leave you to rot [H. MCNAMARA] ‘Course if you don't care Fine! Go braid her hair Maybe Sesame Street is on [HEATHERS] Woah! [H. MCNAMARA] Or forget the creep [H. DUKE] And get in my jeep [H. CHANDLER] Let's go tear up someone's lawn [HEATHERS] Woah! Woah! Woah! Honey, whatchu waitin' for? Welcome to my candy store You just gotta prove You're not a p**y anymore Then step into my candy store [H. CHANDLER] You can join the team [H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA] Or you can b**h and moan [H. CHANDLER] You can live the dream [H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA] Or you can die alone [H. CHANDLER] You can fly with eagles [HEATHERS] Or if you prefer [H. CHANDLER] Keep on testing me [HEATHERS] And end up like her! [MARTHA] [Spoken] Veronica, look! Ram invited me to his homecoming party This proves he's been thinking about me [VERONICA] [Spoken] Color me stoked! [MARTHA] [Spoken] I'm so happy! [HEATHERS] Woah! [H. DUKE] Honey, whachu waiting fo— [H. CHANDLER] Shut up Heather! [H. CHANDLER] Step into my candy store! [H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA] Time for you to prove [H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA] [H. CHANDLER] You're not a lame a** anymore! Oooh woah! Woah oh oh! [HEATHERS] Then step into my candy store! [HEATHERS] It's my candy store It's my candy! It's my candy store It's my candy! It's my candy store It's my candy stoooreee!