The Shepherd raises up his staff And hurls it at the crowd To the sound of a maniacal calliope And Leo the Lion reclines on the throne He had built by the boys in the band And the crown upon his head reads "By the Queen's decree" Do we all agree Luck knows no justice at all Everyone's a self made man, There before the thing began Making such a circus of the best laid plans Everyone's responsible, empty words and purses full Making such a circus of the best laid plans The best laid plans The best laid plans Hey, the best laid plans The clowns arrive in a pirate ship And pose before the crowd Hilarious remarks and inactivity They throw the dog faced boy a bone Command him to play dead For the Hollywood and Hollywood infirmary For the standard fee (repeat after me) Luck knows no justice at all Everyone was paid their fee I made you and you made me And we made such a circus of the best laid plans Everyone's responsible, empty words and purses full Making such a circus -- The circus of the best laid plans You can tell a big man by the company he fleeces Step right on up here son see how your wealth increases Get your cross of iron, get your thirty silver pieces Hey! Best laid plans Best laid... best laid plans Here's Dr. Dogma's smug prescriptions Placebo cures of all descriptions Shucking and jiving for the circus of the best laid plans I wish I might, I wish I may You've ruined my August and it's only May I'm off to join the circus, Dad Of the best laid plans Everyone's a self-made man And there before the thing began Making such a circus of the best laid plans Everyone's responsible Empty words and purses full Making such a circus Of the best laid, the best laid plans Everyone was paid their fee I made you, and you made me (Best laid plans) Best laid -- hey! Everyone can fill their nose Everyone can strike their pose Welcome to the circus The circus of the best laid plans -- hey hey! Everyone's a self-made man There before the thing began No, no, no The circus of the best laid plans Everyone's responsible Empty words and purses full.......