Kevin Bloody Wilson - Bali Belly Song lyrics

Ten days in Bali, got four days to go Ten days of terror, 'coz I'm glued to the throne And I'm sh**tin' in litres and firin' both ends I'll never sh** solid again And it's cost me a fortune for this holiday 'stead of pissin' it up, Christ I'm sh**tin' it away 'coz I'm glued to the loo while me mates are out ragin' I'll never sh** solid again I'll never sh** solid again! Or hold anything down for as long as I live 'coz me arse is jammed open from freckle fatigue I'll never sh** solid again I called Mum back home, she said mix up a cup Of cornflour and Gravox to thicken it up Then she pissed herself laughin' and hung up the phone I'll never sh** solid again Just had a crap and I'm wipin' me ring Haven't quite finished, start spewin' again Used the same piece of paper to wipe off me chin I'll never sh** solid again I'll never sh** solid again! So I'll rig up a hosepipe to stick up me ring So at least when I fart I won't splatter me jeans I'll never sh** solid again I'm doin' cartwheels as I'm tryin' to guess A crap or a chunder, Christ what's comin' next Will it spray through me fingers or run down me leg? I'll never sh** solid again Slipped on some sh** a foot thick on the floor Skid arse over tit, then I spewed a bit more Now, I gotta sit through it 'coz me denture fell in I'll never sh** solid again I'll never sh** solid again! Me ring's hangin' out and me guts 'ave caved in I'll be buried in a bucket, and me mates will all sing "He'll never sh** solid again"