Kevin Bloody Wilson - The pubic hair song lyrics

You know, I've often wondered, and I s'pose you would Of too What makes people 'round the world sound the way they Do? Their accents are all so different, though the language Is the same So out of curiosity I thought I'd ask some of me mates I started with me mate the wog his name is Mario He said, 'I don't really understand but I give 'er a Go.' 'Eh... I got this pubic hair, she stuck on my top lip And no matter how I move me mouth, I canna moova him I blow 'im with me garlic breath and wif me chin out Like this, pfft But still that f**in' pubic hair she stuck on my top Lipa.' In this ole world there's not a thing to drive you to Despair 'That tiny, smelly, little, stinkin' fishy pubic hair' Now Bluey Mill, he's a mate of mine and he's knocked Around a bit From shearin' sheds and drillin' rigs to sewers Shovelin' sh** He's been there seen it and done it all, and sometimes He's done it twice And if any bloke would know it's him so I'll ask Bluey For advice It was one night 'round the barby, when we'd knocked Back one or two I said, 'Blue old son how come you sound the way you Do?' 'Well... I've got this f**in' pubic hair, stuck right Up me nose And I snort and sniff and go like this, but the ba*tard Never goes So if ya recon I sound different, that's the reason I Suppose This piddly f**in' pubic hair stuck right up me nose.' In this ole world there's not a thing to drive you to Despair 'Like an unwelcome and unwanted orphan fanny pubic Hair.' I could see a pattern formin' after Mario and Blue And I was startin' ta twig a bit why we sound the way We do And I was sittin' thinkin' drinkin' when me old mate Jock walked in And I thought now he's got a real strong accent so Perhaps I should ask him It'll probably cost me a couple of beers 'cause he Won't in his kick And I bought a beer and I asked him, I tell ya I'm f**in' glad I did 'Arglglgl... got this wee little pubic hair, stuck There on me roof Nee matter how I roll my tongue, I can not pry it Loose So that's the reason laddy, that I talk the way I do Sure would you with a pubic hair, stuck there on your Roof.' In this ole world there's not a thing to drive you to Despair 'Than a wee, stringy, straight like, curly pubic hair.' Well the pattern it was there all right, but I wasn't Quite convinced 'Cause they're all Europeans I thought well what about The chinks 'Cause they've got a funny way of talkin' and I'm Pretty sure you'll agree That they don't even look like us let alone sound like You or me So I went out for a Chinesse meal 'cause I really like Their chow And I asked the waiter and I tell ya what I'm f**in' Convinced now 'Hock, hark... hive got this little pubic hair, stuck In back of froat Hold tongue down and breath like this, but f**ing Thing won't go That why oriental generaltamen, always say Harsow f**ing little pubic hair stuck in back of froat.' In this ole world there's not a thing to drive you to Despair 'An hard to move and hard to swallow, little pubic Hair.' 'That's right Jimmy, thats right.' 'Har thankyou, Harso.' 'I wonder if Billy Connolly has this problem?'