[DR. PARKER] You little creep, you're gonna pay I won't be shoved out of the way! Oh no- [VOICES IN HIS HEAD] Oh no! [DR. PARKER] Oh no- [VOICES IN HIS HEAD] Oh no! [DR. PARKER] And I could make a solid case For smashing in your filthy face [VOICES IN HIS HEAD] k** him! [DR. PARKER] Shut up! [VOICES IN HIS HEAD] k** him! [DR. PARKER] Shut up! I've got a spade and a burlap sack! [VOICES IN HIS HEAD] k** him now! [DR. PARKER] And there's a hole in the yard out back! [VOICES IN HIS HEAD] k** him now! [DR. PARKER] But if I fill it she'll ask me, why... [VOICES IN HIS HEAD] Ahh... [DR. PARKER] So I've got one thing to do before you die! [VOICES IN HIS HEAD] Now! Now! [DR. PARKER] WAIT! She will see what you are I will win back my bride She herself will decide To get rid of the boy! She'll admit she was wrong She'll return before long She'll be singing a song Full of comfort and joy [VOICES] Comfort and joy- Comfort and joy! [DR. PARKER] Comfort and joy! [VOICES] Comfort and joy- Comfort and joy! Comfort and joy! k** the Bat Boy- k** the Bat Boy! [MEREDITH] Oh, Honey, I apologize: You've really opened up my eyes [SHELLEY] No way! [MEREDITH] Yes way! [SHELLEY] No way! [MEREDITH] Yes way! I'm laying out your Sunday best Now brush your teeth and get some rest. All right? [SHELLEY] No way? [MEREDITH] All right! [SHELLEY] All right! [MEREDITH] Now when they see him they'll make a fuss [SHELLEY] Is that true? [MEREDITH] We gotta smile like we just don't care! [SHELLEY] That's not fair! [MEREDITH] They put their pants on the same as us! [SHELLEY] Yes they do... [MEREDITH] So just imagine them in their underwear! [SHELLEY] And then this time I swear... [MEREDITH & SHELLEY] He will show that he's not What they're terrified of He will show them a love They can never destroy! If we prove that they're wrong They'll come round before long And we'll all sing a song Full of comfort and joy! [Chorus] Comfort and joy! Yeah! Comfort and joy! [MEREDITH & SHELLEY] Comfort and Joy! [Chorus] Comfort and Joy! Comfort and Joy! [DR. PARKER] Stop the Bat Boy! [SHERIFF, spoken] Settle down, people! We want to make sure the revival goes off without a hitch So let's go over the schedule Listen up: [SHERIFF] From nine to twelve he does the healing... [NED, spoken] Sheriff... [MAGGIE] You hush up! [SHERIFF] At noon he'll bless the fields and plows... [MR. DILLON, spoken] Tractors too? [MAGGIE] Hush up! [SHERIFF] Then lunch is from one thirty- [NED, spoken] Sheriff, what about my Gertie! [MAGGIE] Hush! [SHERIFF] Well as it seems that time allows, three to ten: The Blessing Of The Cows! [ALL] Yes! The Blessing Of The Cows! Boy, that preachers a pro! Gives a heckuva show! [LORRAINE, spoken] Just like Seigfried and Roy! [TOWNSFOLK & SHERIFF] He'll bring comfort and joy! [TOWNSFOLK, SHERIFF, DR. PARKER] So if nothing goes wrong Yes, if nothing goes wrong Lord, if nothing goes wrong We'll have comfort and... Comfort and Joy! Comfort and Joy! Lord, we need some comfort and joy! Any means you'd care to employ Won't you send us comfort and joy! [BAT BOY] Dear God: I'm still not sure how people pray Or what one does with one's hands. But please, my thirst grows every day I feel it burn in my glands Please won't you change the way I am, or prove I'm human underneath Or if you just don't give a damn- You could at leatht get rid of theethe! If I can't prove them wrong, show me where I belong For a hunger so strong k**s all comfort and joy If you'd make me complete. I'll avoid all red meat I'll eat nothing but soy to have comfort and joy... [DR. PARKER] By next week you'll be gone, six feet under my lawn I'll have nobody toy with my comfort and joy... [MEREDITH & SHELLEY] He will come out a champ It's just like summer camp. They'll get used to the boy He'll bring comfort and joy... [TOWNSFOLK] Lord, please give us your word Cure the plague on the herd We don't mean to annoy but send comfort and joy... [BAT BOY] Comfort and joy! Comfort and joy! [DR. PARKER] Stop the Bat Boy! Stop the Bat Boy! [ALL] Comfort and joy! Comfort and JOY! [RUTHIE, spoken] Dr. Parker, what are you doing here? [DR. PARKER, spoken] Don't worry, Ruthie The Bat Boy will pay for what he's done to you We're all going to miss you very much [ALL] AAHHHHH! AAHHHHH! AAHHHHH! AAHHHHH! AAHHHHH! AAHHHHH! AAHHHHH! AAHHHHH! AAHHHHH! AAHHHHH! AAHHHHH! AAHHHHH! AAHHHHH! AAHHHHH!