Shopping spree for the family tree Haven't seen your family tree in quite a while! Too many sandwiches and wine Sherry stains down your best mans tie What a speech The band arrives, the granny's cry Singers tongue's in the barmaids mouth What a voice Grandpa drunk a drop or two His heads still stuck in the portaloo What a man You bought a sequin dress for your chicken breast The disco's late and he's overpaid tonight You got a diamond ring And the man who sings The man who sings made love to the barmaid twice And that's just tonight The blue rinsed hairs lift up the chairs The bands too loud they're off down stairs What a noise The bride and groom they dance their dance And the singer mimes "there's still a chance" The barmaid smiles You bought a sequin dress for your chicken breast The disco's late and he's overpaid tonight You got a diamond ring And the man who sings The man who sings made love to the barmaid twice And that's just tonight You bought a sequin dress for your chicken breast The disco's late and he's overpaid tonight You got a diamond ring And the man who sings The man who sings made love to the barmaid twice Ha! Grandpa drunk a drop or two His heads still stuck in the portaloo again! The bride and groom they dance their dance The singer mimes "there's still a chance tonight" And the barmaid smiles