Kawann Shockley - My Childhood Requiem lyrics
My mother died coughin' blood up When I had just arrived from my job caught the bus up Voices in my head like she's dead, will you shut up! I need this moment with my mother Supported by insurance, we both could not afford it These doctors have no pity, can't have you here 'til the morning You know the clock is tickin', they gotta make that money Capitalism at its finest, that's why I hate this country You doctors are some vultures, God forsaken hyenas Don't you see she's had convulsions Why don't you people leave us? They do damage to my spirit I came here to be different, such a innocent young man What a burden did life give him, reminiscin' on my past When I was on New Kirk Street just a innocent young lad I thought no one would hurt me, I was victimized and bashed As teenager was worse Put a fork inside a pan, put it to my face and burned me Why they make me do sleepovers? They know this guy just burned me How I end up in his room? Mama, he's talkin' dirty All these words he use is sick, he's sick And I was just a kid bein' raped That's cool, I bet I k** him when I'm big Said he'd k** me if I tell so I held this livin' hell Then got older couldn't speak, I'm a man now so oh well I can't risk it being twisted ‘cause I'm masculine I mask it in the fact that I'm African, what's happenin'? I'm trapped inside my mind What happened was so vicious that it's hard to see my kids leave Or even childhood pictures ‘cause that image of myself That helpless boy that nobody would help cuts my soul So I hide and put that guy up on the shelf But I decided to be free, to be honest, to release What [?] this disease from my body is deceased As the silence is defeat and he still dominates me If I hide it and I flee so I jot it and believe For the child who I don't see in this bondage, fly with me They do not define your life, you define to find your peace I release you from the pain from the struggles in your brain I know it's hard, free your thoughts and your heart Breathe again, it's not your fault