Nobody cares bout ocean affairs He's by himself 'cause nobody loves him Cleaning his sand Filled boots with his hand Looking for something but nothing sees him Happy was he in spite of his knee That wasn't there because of his day job There was a man who took to the band paying attention tried to adhere him And he ran And he shot But his rivals were sharp And the kids in the sand struggled finding a plan Seemingly fine he sipped on his wine Terror was healthy but not on a mission There was a sea A mystical tease Our cannons were shot 'til we couldn't afford them Others would have died alone Angels all worked free Timeless fairs and sing-alongs Speaking naturally And he ran And he shot But his rivals were sharp And the kids in the sand struggled deep hand in hand All the way from the bay We can hear them say All the time we were dead And I'm Cap' Splendid And he ran And he shot But his rivals were sharp And the kids in the sand struggled deep hand in hand All the way from the bay I could hear them say I don't care if we're dead I am Captain Splendid