Karacter - Confessions lyrics

[Intro] Yo No matter how many people said it's not my fault I'm guilty For all the voices All the thoughts All my choices [Chorus] God I know you had punished me for what I've done It's my lessons, it's my lessons And I'm so grateful to be here with every one Count my blessings, count my blessings Of all these things I've asked you everyday They're my questions, they're my questions Please forgive me and here's what I have to say My confessions, my confessions [Verse 1] Hey dad remember me? James, your son It's been so long I can no longer recall what your face looks like Man that takes what like four years, and nope not a day goes by that I'm not counting Wow Must a thought about you a hundred thousands Times in this year alone But it's those memories that I look back on None of those happy moments captured by a camera I tried to find a photo of you and there's no album Just scrapped pictures of the family where my mom had cut you out them Honest, I want nothing more than my kids to have there grand father, and there dad, and there mamma, a perfect family I won't let happen to them what had happened to me I'm nervous But It's important to know I didn't do this on purpose I was born in to a broken home Didn't even know marriage was supposed to work with Two people until I went to my friends home and no one was cursing Then suddenly something that was broke tuned even worse And I could see each flaw in the family perfect Now when something you have is broken in half you try to fix it as best as you can But sometimes your just too young to understand For example When I was younger people asked me what I wanted to be I'd tell em "I don't know, I just want to go play right now so leave me alone" But now that I've grown If anybody asked Id tell em "I want to be a dad as good as my own" So maybe my kids can know the things that I know But all that I know is there's nothing I feel I could say or do f** if it's been four years last may or June Time never will heal this wound I just need to hear your voice one more time, and to tell the truth I never meant to leave with out saying good bye And how selfish was I man I didn't even realize that that would be the last time I saw him smiling The last time I heard one of his corny jokes Mean while I'm hanging out with my friend Caden playing dead island on his Xbox Spending my last few days waiting out the clock Checking my wrist watch, just waiting to go home Didn't want to see my father cause I was so pissed off I thought he was lying so f** it Wasted my last day with him packing my luggage So I could lug it to the air port and move to Costa Rica Should've never had to leave ya But gee This is what we got And I'm scared to come back, cause one day I'll be on your door step and I'll knock I fear that when you open up you'll hesitate you'll just stop, then push me away Slam the door in my face and then lock it But God [Chorus] God I know you had punished me for what I've done It's my lessons, it's my lessons And I'm so grateful to be here with every one Count my blessings, count my blessings Of all these things I've asked you everyday They're my questions, they're my questions Please forgive me and here's what I have to say My confessions, my confessions [Verse 2] Cause I've said some things And done some things I can never take back That's just the way life is they say "you live and you learn from those mistakes man" But what if for just a second you dropped the act And cut the crap? This ain't no bad relation ship damn it sh**, we're talking about my dad And I'm confessing to all the thoughts I had Talking back, and talking bad behind your back I'm so mother stalking sorry dad A stuck up kid I don't even know what the f** you did To deserve that attitude I take it back But there's no one that can ever put it back but you Has to be you And as of the truth Two weeks after I moved I wasn't even mad at you, but there wasn't anything I could gosh damn do But people tell me they don't know how a father could go without seeing their child Mean while I'm acting all innocent shrugging my shoulders for em "yeah, I don't how" Talk like I got thrown out of the house, when I ran away In fact he was at work when he founded this out And after all the tantrums More sh** I caused him and then some At one point I actually told him I didn't love him no more That's messed up coming from his own son Guess that split us up and put a chasm between us And no matter how hard we tried it had always happened between us Which is why after all this time I can't imagine you're grieving, waiting to receive a phone call Why can't I believe you would do this? Maybe I gotta see to believe in this situation But I wouldn't hesitate to take the next plane out If you accept me back as your son I can appreciate more than a moon And the world undoubtedly, knows I want to shout, and pout "sorry for walking out" Haha Typically in the father and son situation it's the other way around But I ain't proud of running Running my mouth Hopping on a plane before you got to say good bye But I wonder why you never wondered why Why didn't you try to call, did your cell phone f**ing die? Papa, I wouldn't blame you if you never thought to try After the way that I may have acted But answer me this; How many birthdays have I missed? How many father days have I missed? Still wonder why'd I walk away from all this To go from heaven and bliss to blades to your wrists metaphorically it's as basic sh** get's When that depression and boredom wave hits Your on the floor in eight million bits Wait a minute I'm to weak to get up My legs are feeble, as I walk to the booth to confess to evil Even with Jesus in my mind, I still feel heavens a needle away so beat up All these people with their eagle eyes on me to critique my speech and my procedures Cause they think what I've done Is simply just a personal demon But here I'm on my knees, beneath your angels asking forgiveness in this cathedral [Chorus] God I know you had punished me for what I've done It's my lessons, it's my lessons And I'm so grateful to be here with every one Count my blessings, count my blessings Of all these things I've asked you everyday They're my questions, they're my questions Please forgive me and here's what I have to say My confessions, my confessions [Outro] So help me Please tell me what I've done doesn't make me a bad person